Making Friends Or Being A Friend As Told Through Gifs


 

We all have friends right? I mean if you don’t have any friends you should get off your computer and go make some new friends. Seriously I give you permission to stop reading this.

 

Elvis_Presley_-_Let's_Be_Friends_Coverart

Its a pretty hard making friends sometimes. Here are my reactions.

 

 

When I find out that a few of my friends went out without letting me know.

 

Sonsofbitches

When I get a text from a friend I haven’t heard from in A LONG TIME.

Welcomeback

Happened just yesterday as a matter of fact.

 

How I feel when I try to make plans with friends and no one can make it.

Veryfrustrated

 

What I SHOULD DO before drinking. (I’m a BAD drunk texter)

Donttextdrunk

How my brain feels when an acquaintance drops a hand grenade in the conversation:

Disgust

Oh? You don’t know what a conversational hand grenade is? Its something that is meant to shock , offend or illicit an emotional response.

How all friendships should be:

doghumanfriend

How some friendships are:

Eyeroll

How I felt when I was talking with a co-worker and discovered we both liked Game of Thrones:

Highkickcowboyboots

 

What I wanted to say to him:

Iloveyougif

But I didn’t because that’s not work appropriate.

 

My reaction when I start talking to someone and just instantly connect with them:

Yayclap

My reaction when I’m interested in a woman only as a friend and find out she has a crush on me:

Ohwell

When I’m people watching at the local bar:

chilling

Seriously who doesn’t people watch? I mean I’m obviously looking for a new friend right?

 

When I try to comfort a friend on a recent loss.

I soundlikeanidiot

How I felt on April fools day the year anniversary of a friend dying.

drinkingalot

 

Seriously hold your friends tight and cherish them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Take On The News


Pretty self explanatory once you see the headline and my tagline below it.

news-anchor-terror

Mumps

What century is it? MUMPS? This can’t be real. Next you’ll be telling me Yellow fever, dysentery and the Oregon Trail are back.

earthquake

Nothing compared to a  few Lakers riots.

news1

So what the heck is up with your name? I’d sell my shit too if it rhymed with “Large” and whatever the other name is.

news2

EU membership, Crimea and now a security service HQ? What won’t be taken from Ukraine? Dibs on the non scary parts!

news3

Really? “Just like” it? Are you sure this time? Cause we should call a press conference or something, like all those other times.

 

News4

Again with the horrible names!? MALLINCKRODT that sounds like a German gum disease.

news5

I didn’t know he was alive!?

news6

Finally! New Jersey gives back to New York city!

 

news7

Either this is the smartest 5 yr old on the planet or Xbox forgot to do some security.  My money is on the one who likes recess and animal crackers.

 

Secretservice

But guys! It was in Belgium, they have amazing beer! YOU GET TO TAKE BEER BREAKS!

 

That’s all! Now go out and get informed by the news!

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Pet Peeves as told through Gifs.


excuseme

I have a few pet peeves, here are my reactions. Hopefully you have some of the same.

When I’m driving and I see someone speeding up to cut me off.

ExcusemeNO

I’ll speed up to stop them, but I don’t care if I’m an asshole.

When someone at work wants me to change the process of how I do a task to inevitably make their life easier but mine harder.

Theanswerisno

When I open my mouth and say something stupid around my friends.

imdumb

How I feel the next day.

Iamafool

When I hear my less than perfect coworker talking shit about other coworkers.

Judge-gif

What I want to do if someone doesn’t let ME get the first spoonful of a recently opened jar of Peanut butter.

Nooo

When people with a horrible sense of humor try to make jokes.

summer-disgusted

When I make the wrong turn driving, or miss my exit on the freeway.

Imasmartperson

When I see someone eating with their mouth open and talking at the same time.

Appetiteruined

Have a pet peeve free day!

 

 

 

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Never Be Afraid to Ask For Help.


Askforhelp

I ran across this comment on the website Reddit, and it really struck me. I had to share it because I know there are many people out there through pride or ignorance who refuse to ask for help.

You can always ask for help.

This is exactly right
About 4 years ago I worked with a guy, really smart, funny, neat guy. A little bit wired at times, and when he got frustrated, he often talked to himself and would curse himself. It never bothered me but it did bother some others in the office.
He worked a different shift and we only overlapped for an hour or two.. But I still got along with him, he was a hard worker, but he would never seek help if he needed help with work. He was a bit stubborn and would rather sit with a problem for 2 hrs then get someone to help him and get over it in 15 minutes.
This also translated to his drinking problem. Often he came into the office with the smell of alcohol on his breath or clothes. Some people said he would go to his car on his lunch break and drink some more, because they would smell it when he got back from lunch. He would even show up to work with bruise, cuts, bandages etc. He often played it off as “i fell down” but we knew it meant “i fell down drunk” some surmised he may be getting into bar fights.
His work did suffer a little bit from this, and he was making some co-workers uneasy. Management sat down with him, our benefits package includes help for personal issues, whether that be dependency issues, divorce, stress, counseling etc. They will help you get help and benefits will pay some of the cost. They outlined this and offered him help on his drinking. He refused, and wouldn’t admit to any problem.
Eventually the economy went south, and they had to cut our hours, and they let hi go. It was unfortunate, but that’s how it went. I heard he fought for wrongful dismissal and won a settlement.
A couple years later a supervisor said he saw him walking down the street and he “looked rough” we wondered what he was up to these days, but heard no more.
Just after christmas, we found out a bit more, a newspaper article in one of the papers mentioned his name, as the homeless man found frozen to death outside of the former Maple Leaf Gardens (now a grocery store). Someone (a fellow reddit user here) investigated the prone homeless man to find him not moving and called 911. The paramedics tried to save him, but failed.
It has been 2 months since that happened, I think about him often. I only worked with him for a couple hours a day, I didn’t have an in depth relationship with him. Just casual office chit chat, that sort of thing. But it really hit me hard, and saddened me.
A memorial of flowers, candles and pictures was erected where he was found. I went to visit that the first chance I got, on a very very bitter cold day. There I got to see pictures of him as a child, and It made me even more sad. I am not religious at all, and don’t believe in an afterlife, but I still had to say goodbye to my co-worker, who did not need to die, frozen to death on a sidewalk, as people walked by, purchasing groceries. As security stood 10 feet away in a warm building while this man lay on the sidewalk on one of the coldest days of the year.
Most of all, if he only said “Yes, I need help, I have a drinking problem”. He would be alive today, doing well, living in an apartment or maybe even a house. Instead he lived on the streets begging for food and money to sustain his addiction.
The sheer thought of that really weighs on me. If Only… If only…

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The Blog Post Where I Quote Myself.


Funnyface

So I started writing down all those things I’ve said that may or may not be funny. YOU DECIDE. And yes I know its quite egotistical to quote yourself, what can I say? I’m pretty awesome.

For the record I’d never quote myself in real life. I’m only doing it on this blog where you don’t know who I am or where I come from.

“I try to give everyone an opportunity to make me look stupid, but sometimes I beat them to it.”

“If you google my real name you’ll find a famous rabbi from the 1800s and a mediocre UFC fighter. If you google chiwetel ejiofor you ONLY get ONE Chiwetel Ejiofor.”

“I feel bad that we’ve come up with “muffin top” for fat women, what about when fat dudes wear shorts and they ride up in the crotch area while walking? We gotta come up with a cool name for that! Equality!”

“It sucks when I realize that the more fun I have on the weekend, the harder it is to go to work on Monday.”

“I want ANOTHER tax refund. Why do I have to wait ANOTHER year?”

“If Katy perry could go ahead and have a nip slip that would be great.”

“It seems like the more money I make the faster it disappears. Looks like I was meant to be poor forever.”

“Well Of course she liked me, I’m pretty fucking adorable.”

“We’re all mentally ill or a crazy, some of us are just better at hiding it than others.”

“I love her YouTube videos, she’s really smart.  Her weird haircut throws me off a little but love is blind.”

“Man you’re so clumsy it’s like, “go get a clown suit already.”

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And The Dork Responds…


Funnyface

Listed below are things I may have said in the past… I’m not really sure.

 

Statement:  Looks like all that working out has really paid off, you look great!

Response: I’m not working out to look good, I’m working out so I’m prepared for upcoming zombie apocalypse.

Question: Why are you driving so slow? You trying not to get a ticket?

Response: No the guy behind me has a star wars vanity license plate, I’m hoping he goes around me so I can take a photo of it and put it on my blog.

Question: Who is the best captain-

Response: PICARD! Wait are we talking about Pirates or Star Trek?

Question: What song are you going to do for Karaoke?

Response: I’m not sure, maybe something from the Little Mermaid or Alladin.

Question: Did you learn a language in college?

Response: Just Klingon, but I’ve since lost it. It sucks when you have no one to practice Klingon with.

 

 

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I’m So Cool You Guys!


That moment when a pair of my socks both lose their partners, and I force them into a new arranged marriage.

arrangedmarriage

The best Valentine a man can receive. (I got this last Valentines day from a friend.)

BeMein

This is how I know spring is on its way! They start selling the “spring” beers in the grocery store.

ItsSpring

Don’t worry, I know you all wish you were as cool as me, drinking beer, looking at my Hitler valentine and wearing mismatched socks.

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