Lets Be Honest

Well folks, here is a list of things I want to be honest about.

I’m not talking about this kind of honesty:

I’m talking about this kind:

• Lets be honest, A sore thumb doesn’t stick out, it just hurts a lot.

• Lets be honest, if life gives you lemons you can’t afford the ingredients for lemonade because you spent it all on liquor.

• Lets be honest, an apple a day just gives produce farmers in Washington State more money. Your body and doctors don’t give a shit.

• Let’s be honest, exercising for a minute doesn’t mean you get to eat whatever you want. That’s like drinking diet coke and thinking you get to eat a whole cheesecake.

• Lets be honest, “Never cry wolf” means if you say you’re going to come to my party 3 times in a row and you don’t, I’ll probably stab you in the stomach the next time I see you. Only because I will have forgotten what you look like and think you’re a stranger. Sorry, I mean I hate you.

• Lets be honest ladies, guys only keep the toilet lid up to see if you’ll accidentally fall in during the middle of the night.

• Lets be honest, “Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse.” Is a recipe for disaster, don’t mind me while I’m still enjoying life in moderation mode.

• Lets be honest, “Make love not war.” PLEASE! We can do both!

• Lets be honest, “Say No to Drugs” didn’t work, it should’ve been “Say No to Fun.”

• Lets be honest, “Saving it for a rainy day” really only works in Seattle, not so much in Phoenix.