I Have an Amazing Butt


I don’t mean to brag.

Butt I do.

1. I’ve caught a total of three women checking out my butt.

2. Its a nice large size but not too big.

3. It holds my pants up.

 

If my butt were a country it would be the President of The United Butts of America.

If my butt were a product it would be the ibutt.

A girl once touched my butt and orgasmed instantly.

 

I once cured butt cancer with my butt.

I once used my butt as a weapon. I killed a terrorist and preserved freedom.

Have you ever been to a full 60,000 seat auditorium for a concert? That’s what happens when I use the elliptical at my gym.

 

I once caused a 5 hour traffic jam when I bent over to pick up a quarter off the ground.

My butt is a pied piper.

My butt.

 

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About MaximumWage

Everyday I put on my "I can do it" underpants followed by my I'm trying to lose weight pants, followed by my "I'm still kind of young" shirt followed by a belt and then polish it off with a nice smile to finish the ensemble. I don't wear shoes.
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9 Responses to I Have an Amazing Butt

  1. Nadine says:

    I totally feel you on this….my butt is my best asset. :)

  2. rokkn93 says:

    Reblogged this on The Food Product and commented:
    This has given me meaning

  3. rokkn93 says:

    This has given me meaning

  4. Butt seriously …. no photos?

  5. The most moving thing I’ve ever read. Seriously – brought tears to the eyes. Just. Just… Bea-utt-iful?? (Eh, eh, did it work? Or too much… ^.^)

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