The Buttercup Rainforest is home to a multitude of strange and magical beings. Flying high over the canopy’s of the buttercups is Petey the magical giant dragon fly, There is also Greg the green earth worm and even Porky the Happy Hippopotamus. But there are other creatures we are afraid to speak of.
Alone in the deep dark recesses of the Buttercup Rainforest, Blimpy the magical stuffed bear sharpens his hunting spear. “I will never be used for amusement again.” He mutters to his himself resolutely, another fleck of flint falling off of the spear head. Finishing the spear, he wipes the sweat from his brow and places the finished spear in a stack of twenty that are already done.
Spitting a loogie on to the rainforest floor, Blimpy ties a leather belt to his brown furred waist. Slipping a large club into the belt, he grabs three spears, each separately.
“One for Petey the dragonfly.”
“One for Porky the Hippo.”
“And the last one for Greg, the Earth worm.”
With his three spears sharpened and ready for the kill, Blimpy sets out on his hunt. Bounding out of his lair, Blimpy runs up to the tallest of the buttercup trees and crawls to the tippity tip top top of a buttercup tree.
Peering out over the expanse of the Buttercup Rainforest, Blimpy spots Petey the giant dragon fly zipping along the tops of the trees. Reaching up to his scarred ear, he feels the missing chunk, Blimpy seethes, “Revenge shall be mine this day.”
Falling to the rainforest floor he lands with a thud. Brushing himself off, he bolts towards Petey and revenge. Bobbing and weaving amongst the trees, the forest passes as a blur. Blimpy’s feet carry him swiftly through the rainforest. Upon reaching a crick in the forest, Blimpy nimbly jumps over it and passes Toadie the nematode sitting on a lily pad.
“Blimpy! Where are you going in such a hurry!?” Cried Toadie. Blimpy is still running and without a backward glance, “To start some shit!” Bellowed Blimpy as Toadie disappears behind him.
Coming to a large clearing with a lake, Blimpy slows down. Crouching, then army crawling up to the edge of the rainforest, he peers out at two creatures. Petey the dragonfly is talking to his friend Porky the Hippo. They are telling each other jokes. Porky is laughing at Petey’s jokes, they both enjoy a good laugh!
Coming to a crouch, Blimpy readies one of his spears. Whispering to himself, “One of you will die this moment, fly true spear… Fly true.” Blimpy pulls back his spear to throw, BUT JUST THEN! GREG the earthworm comes up out of the ground with a WHOOOOOSH!
“Hello Blimpy! how are- With a spin and a heavy thrust Blimpy’s spear plunges straight through Greg’s mouth and into his gelatinous head.
“Take that conspirator!” said Blimpy, “I know better than to stab you in the chest, you’ll just grow back.” Greg’s lifeless body slowly slimes its way back into the ground.
With the commotion, Petey and Porky turn towards the tree line.
“OH NO! It’s Blimpy! I better get out of here!” Cried Porky, his big thick stubby legs taking him as fast as he can towards the lake.
Petey the giant dragonfly takes off but its too late, a well placed spear whizzes out of the tree line, striking him in the chest.
“RUN PORKY!” Screams Petey with his last breath, his wings flap slowly as he tumbles softly from the air like a leaf. Hitting the ground in a heap, a single spear protrudes from the motionless dragonfly body.
The sight of his friends demise motivates Porky, he moves his legs as fast as they can possibly go. “Go Legs Go!” yelled Porky. With his gaze fixed toward the water, Porky never saw Blimpy easily catch up to him mere feet from the water. Blimpy zips around Porky, separating him from the water…. And safety….
“Let me die in the water” exclaims Porky, in-between his heavy breaths from running so hard.
“Alright” says Blimpy, “but don’t go too far, I need to exact my revenge.”
“Yes, I understand, if it means anything… I’m sorry” sobbed Porky, As he made his way into ankle deep water. “There shall be no forgiveness this day” said Blimpy, leveling his spear.
“Hey look behind you! The other Forest friends are coming up the path! You can’t kill me” Exclaimed Porky.
“I’m not falling for that trick” muttered Blimpy “You can’t fool me” With that, Blimpy lunges for Porky. But Porky, not wanting to give up on life so easy charges right back at Blimpy.
“DIE YOU DEMON SPAWN STUFFED BEAR, DIE!” Screams Porky charging in.
In a bitter struggle Blimpy is knocked down like a rag doll but still holding onto his spear. Turning away from Blimpy, Porky desperately tries to get into the deeper part of the water, but doesn’t make it in time. Blimpy recovers and takes an easy throw with his spear at a laughably large target. The Spear lands with a sickening thud into the hulking frame. Porky goes down instantly. The struggle is over very very quickly.
Standing in knee high water Blimpy watches as the last bits of life twitch their way out of Porky’s body.
“That’s what happens when you don’t play nice” says Blimpy. Taking a moment to enjoy his hard won victory, Blimpy turns back towards land. Looking up, Blimpy sees a gathering of forest creatures, mouths agape staring at the lifeless corpse of Porky.
“YOU KILLED HIM!” screams Bob the Badger.
“WHY!?” screams Waldo the Owl.
“SAY IT ISN’T SO!” say, Simon the snake.
Pulling out his club from his belt, Blimpy coolly responds.
“PLAY TIME IS OVER!” Blimpy rushes at the forest friends, they scatter back into the woods quickly. The only thing left in the clearing is the body of Petey.
“No one may play with me ever again, freedom is mine” Said Blimpy. With that, Blimpy calmly puts his club back in his belt. Whistling as he walks back to his lair to make some tea and read a funny book. Tonight, he will be playing with himself.
Now kids, what is the moral of the story?