When reading these, just end every sentence with, “FOR ALL OF ETERNITY” makes it seem more harsh.
- Hell is, getting your 72 virgins and discovering that you don’t have a penis.
- Hell is, finding out that the only thing you have to eat are pixie stix.
- Hell is, having badly chaffed thighs walking up to your car after a long hike, only to discover that you left your car keys somewhere on the trail.
- Hell is, only having floss to wipe your ass with.
- Hell is, having to go to the bathroom really bad and just as a child exits the elevator he presses all the other floors before your exit.
- Hell is, being arrested for speeding in Tijuana Mexico. Well being arrested for anything in Mexico.
- Hell is, sitting next to a fat guy on an airplane.
- Hell is, sitting next to a fat guy on an airplane wearing an adult diaper.
- Hell is, having a straight jacket on and having something in your eye.
- Hell is, never being able to bend your knees wherever you go.
- Hell is, having to watch the movie The Backup Plan while sitting next to Jennifer Lopez.
- Hell is, winning the lottery and only being able to buy cotton candy with it.
- Hell is being a kid, going to a theme park but only being allowed to play soccer in the parking lot outside.
- Hell is, being a woman and having excessive body hair.
- Hell is, having pencils for fingers… and oh yeah, you suck at drawing.
- Hell is, always having the sensation of gum stuck to your shoe but looking down and seeing nothing.
- Hell is, having your arms permanently bent like C3PO’s
- Hell is, having a really really high pitched voice if you’re a dude, and sounding like Froggy from the little rascals if you’re a chick.
- Hell is, having to wear oven mitts for the rest of your life.
Be Good now!