Do my armpits smell like an arctic blast? (A product review)


2 scientists died that day.

So I bought some Deodorant last week, A LOT OF IT. Thought it would be good to review some products for other guys like me. Theres a ton of deodorants out there and sometimes you don’t know what to buy!? Right? I will admit I only stuck to Deodorants, if I get a chance I’ll try out the spray anti-perspirants for all you young guys out there.

1. Arctic Force

Pretty strong/Great smell

 Old spice has a good thing here, its pretty strong, the smell is decent and it lasts quite a long time. It reminds me a little of the Empire Strikes Back where they had the Imperial Walkers. Well atleast thats what happened to my body odor, it got walked on by a huge metal beast. In the arctic. 4/5

2. Dark Temptation

Smells chocolatey

 This one is also pretty good, Its got a nice round finish. Hints of chocolate and sweet aftertaste. Other than the name that reminds me of a bad Porn movie Its not too bad. 4/5
 
3. Irish Spring Original flavor

My lucky charms are magically gross.

This one was awful, it smelled like a leprechaun half chewed some soap and grass and then spat it into a plastic container. WHICH I then rubbed on my armpits. the only upside is that after a good workout it smells like one of those breath mints they leave on your pillow in hotel rooms. 2/5

4.Old Spice Swagger

Go ahead pop your armpit hairs.

This one wasn’t too bad, it’s got swagger but nothing to brag about. The aftertaste is a little strong for me. It had a nice rusty smell after a while with a hint chocolate. I’d call it a lesser brother to Dark Temptation without the sexy name. 3/5

5. Arm and hammer baking soda.

Ok I was shocked on this one, Arm and hammer only makes baking soda in my eyes. HOW THEN IS THIS POSSIBLE?! I don’t put baking SODA ON MY BODY. To be honest it was quite bland, it had a baking soda kind of smell. If I was going to make Brownies I think I would have thrown a couple of these boys in.  Certainly not on my body. 1/5

6.Mitchum, Mountain Air.

HELL YEAH! George Washington Just fist pumped

Simple and sweet, This one was great. It felt like I was fighting redcoats in the American Revolution alongside Chuck Norris and a soft comforting panda bear. It has this effect on your armpits like nuclear cooling towers and the towers are in antarctica. After a good workout I felt like John wayne was smoking ciggarettes with me and we were drinking whiskey under an old oak tree. 5/5

And the losers…

Nice try Terrorizers

Sports, Sports, Sports! All the time, Getting sweaty with Sports.

Creativity is pretty important when I shop for Deodorants.

When you're in the arctic the only thing you can't do is sweat.

The old spice guy is the only reason these 3 deodorants exist.

Respectfully,

Moses.

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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8 Responses to Do my armpits smell like an arctic blast? (A product review)

  1. mrasherkade says:

    I never thought about it, but hygeine products are definately weird for girls or guys. On a unrelated topic, have you ever seen online dating sites? I’d love to see your take on those cheesy on-liners and the ho hum cooky cutter personal ads. Really people? Everyone these days takes profile pics (dating sites or wherever) with themselves in the mirror with a camara phone. Yea. Everyone is impressed you don’t own a real camara. REALLY. Then there are the over the top designer/professional pics that are so unrealistic. Unless you are Elton John or Lady Gaga, no one believes you really look like that. Most of those people are also over 40. American culture is so ASININE.

    • MaximumWage says:

      Hahah, Yeah our culture is quite silly sometimes, I posted on twitter today something like, “Do you think future generations will judge us for our shakeweights, convertible PT cruisers and hipsters? Yeah things are pretty silly/weird. I will admit, you’ve given me an idea to find photos of absolutely ridiculous photos of people and turn them into profiles for eharmony. hmmmm possible blog post. 🙂

  2. Emily says:

    From a girl’s point of view, definitely the original Old Spice – you can’t do better! The weird Axe scents often smell like colognes, and if a girl smells an ex-bf’s cologne on you, she’s going to run in the opposite direction. Old Spice is classy though – not even an ex could destroy that schizzle.

    And their new commercials are effin hilarious.

  3. mrasherkade says:

    WAIT! I’ve called it. You get your own ideas somewhere else!
    hahahaha.

  4. dearsassy says:

    I’m a little concerned that my husband is using his deodorant incorrectly. You keep mentioning “hint of chocolate” and “aftertaste”. Do you experience a lot of tongue sweat? I’m so worried that my husband is missing out on some incredible male experience…

  5. You’ve taught me a thing or two about deodorants..for that I’m most grateful! LOL Seriously, my 11 year old has always said that she hates toilet paper commercials. In her own words,” Mom EVERYBODY NEEDS toilet paper, so why try to sell it some more with tacky commercials?”

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