Pete Sleazer was a guy who drove a beat up old truck without a bed. I always thought that was strange but thinking back on it now, I’m sure he sold his bed for the cash to buy meth. I’m thinking that’s probably what happened. Pete was a guy who looked like the man below.
So one time Pete S and I we were detailed to go pick up some “garbage” from a roof that guys had just started working on. (yes it was my job again to go babysit the meth head dump truck driver. This time it was a different meth head though.) Me and Pete S drove out to the sight, propped our ladders onto the roof and found the garbage bags piled neatly on the roof.
As I approached the garbage bags I got a smell of the most God awful, wretched stench. The BAGS WERE FILLED WITH BIRD POOP.
Someone had taken the time to clean all the bird shit off of the roof, scoop it into neat little black trash bags and pile them up into a super bird shit pile.
So here I am grabbing these bags, and carrying them over to the ladder to drop down into the dump truck.
So from a three story height you can imagine what the bags did in the dump truck. It looked like this but more in the back of a big dump truck.
I know what you’re thinking, yes I did get bird shit all over my clothes because the bags used were cheap and leaked bird shit all over my legs and shoes, I was wearing shorts at the time. FUN! Character built = a billion.
So after loading the dump truck, we drove out to the county DUMP, everyone driving past us on the freeway had this face.
At the dump, people were getting the F*CK out of our way. We got a prime spot and unloaded the shit out of the dump truck.
After dumping, Pete turns to me and says, “We should probably get the back of the truck cleaned out.” Which in tweaker translated means, “I want to goof off for a 2 hours before I go back to the shop.”
So we drove over to this place where they cleaned semi-trucks, hoping that they’d clean out our dump truck. While in line behind 4 other semis Pete turns to me and starts up a conversation.
“So you’re in college huh?” said Pete.
“Yes I am.” said I.
“What are the college girls like?” said Pete
“Oh they’re all pretty nice I-“
“No really… What are they like? I mean do they all have tight *****? Do they f*ck after a lot of drinking? I bet they all put out!” Said Pete in his harsh raspiest stalker voice ever.
“Oh look its our turn now for the washer.” Said I trying to change the subject.
“You know if you do some crystal before you F*ck you can f*ck for hours.” Said Pete in a proper professorial tone.
He then laughed a hearty tweaker stalker laugh.
We got up to the wash and the east Indian running the wash rack gave us this face.
And then told us to go away.
We drove back to the yard and I had to wash out the dump truck with a hose and baking soda. I got more bird shit on my shorts and pants.
I never saw Pete Sleazer again. But boy was he sleazy.