Here’s a list of things I like,
What kinds of things do you like?
- I like speed limits but not when there are cops near them.
- I don’t mind hipsters but they confuse me, the way the dress makes me think they’re all lesbians, even the guys.
- I like soccer but only around foreigners and then I call it football.
- I like ketchup but not when it’s used as fake blood.
- I like Germany but not when it tries to take over the world.
- I like boobs but not when they’re enormous and on a man.
- I like Muslims but not when they blow themselves up.
- I like monsters but not when they’re underneath my bed.
- I like firefighters but only in calendar form.
- I like cops but only the tv show.
- I like cheeseburgers but not when they jizz grease all over my pants when I pick them up. Cheeseburgers need diapers.
- I like ice in my drinks but not when its being put down my shirt.
- I like bricks but not the emotional walls I build with them sometimes.
- I like being unemployed but I don’t like seeing my bank account.
- I like sharks but only during shark week.
- I like shorts but not the ones that show off my bulge, those are so tight they give me rashes.
- I like shiny swords, samurai swords, Viking swords, any kind of historical sword it doesn’t matter; Going to war in one.. yeah not gonna happen. I’ll take an m16.