10 ways to make yourself appear smarter than you are.

Don't even look at me, you're just not smart enough.

  1. Wear glasses, if someone is condescending, look at them without looking through the glasses and then dramatically take them off your face. End with a, “Utter nonsense, please try again.”
  2. Buy a law school shirt and sweatshirt, preferably Yale, Cambridge, or Harvard. Stanford only if you have to. Upside, people will think you’re a smart lawyer, another upside the opposite sex will think you make a lot of money and want you. Congrats! Double prizes in smartness.
  3. Buy and use anything with the apple logo on it. Wear glasses. Be a skinny white guy.
  4. If you have a southern accent drop that shit immediately. Practice using a british accent only on the first word of every sentence. It’ll throw people off and they’ll subconsciously think you’re from England and smarter.
  5. Don’t ever wear tennis shoes, the most you can get away with are Sperry Topsiders (it lets everyone know that you have a yacht) Wear Florsheim or any dress shoe available. Always wear pleated khakis. ALWAYS.
  6. Legally change your first name to Doctor.
  7. Google search, seminal books of the 20th century. Buy those books, put them in your personal library.
  8. Add quotes of famous smart people to your facebook profile. If you can’t think of an appropriate status update find a random quote of a smart person and then end it with, “yeah that’s how I feel right now, way to preach [authors name].
  9. When in conversation, try to turn the conversation back to Nano-technology.
  10. Research 1 topic of exclusive smartness and become an expert on it, Example: Nano Technology.

About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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3 Responses to 10 ways to make yourself appear smarter than you are.

  1. lifewith4cats says:

    youve duped the masses, have you.

  2. Gotta agree with everything! I just can’t ever encourage anyone to wear pleated pants no matter how smart it makes them look!

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