So we’ve all heard of the cheesy pickup lines that a guy would say to a girl. WordPress is full of blog posts about this cheese pickup line or that cheesy pickup line so I thought I’d change it around.
Now lets all imagine a world where the tables have turned, that a remarkably attractive young woman, just wants a one night stand and that men are the ones being hit on. No biggie right? Well how to pick up the right guy? Easy with these surefire pickup lines no woman can go home empty handed. Normally all a woman has to do is walk up to a guy and seem interested even saying, “hello” but for the sake of the exercise, we’re going to pretend that the woman is using a large sized sledgehammer with her words.
just a warning… I’m going to use graphic language.
1. Girl: My friends over there all thought you were gay, but I believe you’re straight, care to prove them wrong with me?
2. Girl: Oh what do you do for a living? Guy: I’m a sales rep. Girl: I’m a fisherman, lately I’ve been catching one kind though, “the one eyed trouser trout” and I catch them with my mouth.
3.Girl: When I saw you walk in here I said to myself, that man looks like he could use a blowjob in a bathroom stall.
4.Girl: Hey handsome, I’ll buy you a shot, I’m guessing you’re a “sex on the beach” kind of guy or maybe a “one night stand in a hotel” kind a guy, oh you haven’t heard of that last shot?
5.Girl: I’d give you my number but I don’t have a sharpie… See the only thing I have to write my number on is my plastic hotel room key so I’ll just give you that.
6.<girl grabs guy’s drink as he puts it to his lips> Girl: What are you doing? Don’t drink that! I’m going to need a designated driver, one to drive me home and one to drive me in bed later.
7. Girl: You look like an angel, tell me do angels like boobs?
8.<Girl sits down next to guy, guy tries to speak but girl puts her fingers to his mouth> Girl: Shhhh don’t say anything, all I want to know is whether you have a working penis or not, nod your head yes or no.
9.Girl: My girlfriends and I all agree that you look like an artist, tell me, would you like to paint the inside of my vagina with your magic marker?
10. <girl walks up to guy and hands him a note> Written on the inside of the note are the words, “your mission should you choose to accept it, make me orgasm.”