All about me. (Who I am)

There’s going to be a quiz at the end FYI.

1. I invented the internet back in the 70’s using only a a book, a library and some LSD.

2. I have punched 6 sharks in the face only one has punched me back.

3. I once shot an arrow through an apple, blindfolded and using only one hand and my mouth, no one was hurt, except the apple.

4. People look at me and think I’m George Clooney, but only when they’re drunk.

5. I made IED’s in Afghanistan. But I am not a terrorist….

6. I once made a log cabin out of Lincoln Logs… Man were those kids pissed.

7. I invented cocoa on accident one day when I was craving chocolate and was thirsty.

8. I once acted really gay so this girl would stop asking me to sleep with her, ended up going home with Lance Bass (Nsync) really nice guy, has very soft skin.

9. I was the first person in recorded history to be charged with assault after I threw my cell phone at a guy who punched his wife.

10. I went to college later in life and was 22 in a freshman dorm. All the guys in the dorm wouldn’t talk to me because they thought I was a NARC.

11. I invented the phrase “Butt Ton.” as in, “Joey had a lot of games for his Nintendo he had a butt ton.”

12.  I have correctly predicted every major sports winner for the last 4 years, my friends think I’m psychic.

13. Once convinced a little kid that when the ice cream truck is playing music as it drives by, that means its out of Ice cream.

14. Once lost a bet with my dad as to who would be the first to lose his wallet. It didn’t matter I couldn’t pay up on the bet.

15. Was the first to start using zip ties as handcuffs… I used them for sex however.

16. Cold stone creamery was started after a friend of mine liked the way I combined different ice creams on the cold counter.  I have yet to see any money for that idea.

17. Ended the cold war 1992 after I wished on a shooting star.

18. Got an associate producer credit for the Kfed Album, playing with fire in 2006.

Alright ladies and Gents, here’s the quiz.

Which 3 of these statements are true? The answers might surprise you.

All my love,


Answers in the next blog.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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9 Responses to All about me. (Who I am)

  1. mrasherkade says:

    It would be hilarious if all of these were true, but then you would be famous and not writing shit on WordPress! I’m going for #15, however, how could prove that is true??? Very funny…I wonder how I could make a Who Am I post on myself…..(imitation is the greatest form of flattery….)

  2. jg says:

    I think 8, 10, and 18 are true. But I could be wrong.

    My neighbor’s wife told me she felt her baby kick 3 times yesterday. The only problem is the baby is 3 years old.

  3. MaximumWage says:

    Well since, only two people responded.might as well throw out the answers.. JG you got 1 right. The correct answer is 5,10 and 11. CONGRATS, you win a trip to the internet.

  4. someone who cares says:

    Is it wrong if it makes me feel better that you only got 2 comments? 🙂 So, now I’m really curious – why were you making IED’s in Afghanistan if you weren’t a terrorist? Were you reverse engineering? congrats on FP.

  5. Erin says:

    You’re hilarious! I love this! Haha. Too bad #15 is not true…. ;-p

  6. Pingback: All about me again and ASK AWAY! | Maximum Wage

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