I was the first Facebook Stalker.

Yes, this isn’t a proud title for me, but I think its important to be open and honest about some of the things I’ve done in my past.

Now before you go and report me to FACEBOOK there’s something you should know first.  IT WAS FOR SCIENCE.

So back in 2004-05 I was in college, and like most college aged people you were probably joining Facebook, mostly because you had a crush on someone and wanted to know if she or he were single. Same old song and dance right?  I thought to myself, well there’s got to be more to this? What if I could prove a point?

So I decided to conduct a little experiment.

Facebook had just allowed, friend requesting in universities other than your own. I.E. people you went to high school with, camp, etc… Anyway, I wanted to know how easy it would be to collect a bunch of random friends all over the country. (all Female)  More importantly how easy it would be BY AREA. Are Yale and Harvard women more mistrusting than Southern women? Do hot sorority chicks easily accept friend requests?

These were the pressing questions that I wanted answered.

I made my profile photo the one below.  It was one of my brother getting a haircut from a our dad, a long time ago.

My Youngest brother ages ago. He's 3 in this photo.


I Posted it as my profile photo and began finding and searching for hot chicks all over the United States excluding Hawaii and Alaska. The colleges that I selected are the ones in the map below.


For a while nothing happened. I wasn’t really researching it as I was just Facebook stalking hot chicks and wishing I went to a school where a gaggle of hot women congregated.

Eventually, like a computer virus I spread. I spread all over all of these universities. I mean after all how can you say no to such an adorable face?

I think at one point I was friends with every cheerleader in every major college of the south. Which brings me to my next point. Southern Ladies, Ya’ll are very gracious and very trusting. Even though this was an experiment don’t ever change. EVER. You see the findings of my “experiment” were really that only in the south can you easily facebook stalk a girl.

Harvard, USC, Notre Dame and every other college in the United States (THAT WASN’T in the south) the women were much more guarded after my initial friend request.

After a couple weeks a few of the girls started asking me on Facebook how I knew so many women at their school or how I knew them at all. I just told them it was for a sociological experiment.

I wish there was a funny ending to this story but there isn’t. After a few weeks I got bored and changed my profile photo back to my regular old face and noticed that women started unfriending me in droves.








About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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One Response to I was the first Facebook Stalker.

  1. Hahahahahaha…that ending! I’m awfully unphotogenic so I feel ya…if that’s any consolation. My profile picture is me with a box over my head.

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