My favorite Valentines day of All time.

Its October now and maybe I should just save this post til February….

I’m posting this early to give myself motivation, you’ll understand when you read it.


About time for an unscheduled lane change.


Once upon a time I worked with Truckers.


My first job out of college was working for a warehouse. I generally wasn’t pleased that I worked there, but really had no other options as my money was running out and it was time to find work.

Let me tell you something about truckers. They are a unique sub set of the American psyche. Most of them are really great people; they work really hard and have a good attitude even though they get a ton of shit from commuters on the road.

Yes, I did come in contact with some truckers who were morbidly obese and smelled of fat, feces and sweat. Those were not good days. For the most part though, the days were good. Some truck drivers made a point of finding a gym and working out, others thought getting out of their truck was enough of a workout. Some even refused deodorant on the grounds that going out in “public” was too scary.

On one particular day, VALENTINES DAY to be precise (one that I will remember for the rest of my life) I was driving to work in my old beat up pick-up truck. I was thinking to myself and lamenting the fact that I didn’t have a girlfriend after another Valentine’s Day. OHHH BOO HOO Said my self-esteem, crying and bemoaning the fact that I hadn’t dated anyone seriously in over a year. Yes, I was having my own pity party on the way to work. (AND YES LADIES guys do that on Valentine’s Day once in a while if we’ve been having a dry spell.)

So I’m feeling bad for myself, wondering what’s wrong with me? Am I insensitive? Am I too fat? What’s the deal? I drive up to my reserved parking spot at work and see this:


Well, it really wasn’t the guy above it was an morbidly overweight truck driver bent over inspecting a semi wheel. Letting me see about 7 inches of full on dude ass crack staring back at me.

My Reaction


So ladies and gents what is the moral of the story?

The minute you start feeling sorry for yourself, the universe lets you know it could be worse in a way you’ll never forget as long as you live.




About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to My favorite Valentines day of All time.

  1. mrasherkade says:

    I’m not sure where you get some of your pictures,like the old man at the end, but that’s too funny! I needed that…going through a dry spell myself. Whether it’s Valentines Day, losing your dad, losing a girlfriend, or just everything in the universe craps on you, you can always remind yourself that it could be worse!

  2. hahahaha I love it! That picture of that big guy’s crack looks like something you’d see on a regular basis in Walmart somewhere in West BubbleFuck

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