Heres 10 things your boyfriend won’t say Ladies.

1.Why yes those jeans do make you look fat. I can’t even look at you, the next time you want to show me what a hippo in jeans looks like, please warn me.

2. Last night was great! I gave him a blowjob! Right on the dance floor, in front of all the other guys dancing on each other!

3. NO! Please stop wearing yoga pants around the house.

4. And how does this period compare to other periods you’ve had over the course of your life?

5. Yeah I agree, your sister does have a better ass than you.

6. Is it okay if I refer to you as my warm hole?

7. Yes I did quit my job today, I already have a full time job its called, loving you.

8. No, not tonight honey, I think I’m just gonna masturbate and then watch CSI miami while I fall asleep.

9. Lets go home and take care of my boner.

10. Eh, I was hoping we could just be friends with benefits.

Well let me rephrase that.. Things you HOPE he won’t say.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Heres 10 things your boyfriend won’t say Ladies.

  1. Jason says:

    I would totally say all of this. I’m the best boyfriend you could ever ask for.

  2. youngsub91 says:

    I’ve heard a variation of #9 a few times. 😉

  3. BrainRants says:

    As Ashley said, 100%. I spit out cheesy mac because of this.

  4. mrasherkade says:

    #5 and #10 were hilarious! and so very true….(shhhhh, don’t let any more secrets out!)

  5. I know I may be betraying The Sisterhood when I say this but bravo! Sometimes I wish men would say these things to shut up their whiny bints.

    And I’m single, why?!

  6. Me likey! I think I’ll stay awhile! 🙂

  7. ysobele says:

    .. and sometimes the dude’s moronic enough to even say it 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s