Some alcoholic drinks you’ve never heard of.


AMERICAN IMPERIALISM

  • 1 shot Jack Daniels
  • 1 shot Jose Cuervo (mexican)
  • 1 shot sake (Japanese)
  • 1 shot Jaeger (German)
  • 2 drops of sweat from a marine

Stir with a KBAR and pour into a mug that says “We the Fucking people”

BRITISH IMPERIALISM

  • 1 shot gin
  • 1 shot Duchess Brandy (Indian)
  • 1 shot Bundaberg (Australian)
  • 1 shot of Amarula (South African)
  • 1 shot Jack Daniels (USA)
  • 1 shot tea

Put two ice cubes taken from the frozen tundra of the Northwest territories of Canada, Shake vigorously, stir with a bayonet or Sabre and pour into tea cup.

COMMUNIST SYMPATHIZER

  • 1 shot Jack daniels
  • splash of vodka

Have everyone stir or shake it. pour into really tiny cups.

FASCIST SYMPATHIZER

  • 1 shot Jack Daniels
  • 1 shot Jaeger

Pour both shots into your mouth at the same time, yell at random people and get mad at them.

TORNADO IN A TRAILER PARK

  • 1 bottle Jim Beam
  • 1 office desk chair
  • 1 confederate flag

Open bottle of Jim beam, place confederate flag over the bottle as a filter. Spin in a circle on the chair while you down the bottle.

TIME TRAVELER

  • 1 digital wrist watch
  • 1 bottle of cheap tequila

Start timer on digital wrist watch, drink tequila bottle in 1 hour. Wake up the next morning, look at your watch. That’s how far you’ve traveled into the future.

WALL STREET BILLIONAIRE

  • 2 ice cubes imported from Antarctica
  • 1 bottle of 62 Single Highland Malt scotch
  • 1 strainer
  • cocaine

Put ice cubes and cocaine in strainer, pour really expensive scotch into tumbler through strainer held by 12 year old boy imported from china who previously worked at a textile mill. Tumbler must be made out of the remnants of the Challenger space shuttle. Drink while overlooking wall street.

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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4 Responses to Some alcoholic drinks you’ve never heard of.

  1. Tess Kann says:

    How do you come up with this stuff? I enjoyed it.

  2. Very witty. My favorite is the tornado in a trailer park. 🙂

  3. Let Them Eat Cake
    Multiple types of fruit, diced
    Cheap vodka
    Nice bottle of wine
    Grape juice

    Mix the fruit and cheap vodka and grape juice. Give it to your friends. Pour yourself some nice wine in a regular cup. Tell your friends it’s just grape juice.

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