1. On Facebook, make your Facebook status the SAME every day and every time. Statuses like, “Am I repeating myself here?” and “Time seems to be standing still for me.” and “This status brought to you by me.” See how long you can go before anyone notices. A 13 year old boy in Ohio went for 2 years before he got a friend.
2. Taking a transcontinental flight? EAT 4 BEAN BURRITOS before the flight!
3. Going off of #2, if you’re in the back of a very crowded elevator, make a fart sound with your mouth. Watch the reactions of people around you, if all else fails say, “It doesn’t smell that bad.” and then sniff the air loudly.
4. Since its getting close to Halloween go as a slutty nude model, or naughty mama bear or slutty tyrant. I’m pretty sure they haven’t been done before.
5. Grab a pair of boxing gloves and put them on, walk into a public restroom, If anyone is there. Walk up to them and point at your crotch with the boxing gloves, then hold them up and with a look of desperation say, “Can you take off my pants for me?”
6. Go out and buy chocolate bars, when a local school gets out, stand nearby and hand them out to the kids, see how many days you can hand out candy bars without getting arrested. The record is 4.
7. Grab a sharpie and make moderately sized black “pock” marks all over your body. Go out for Halloween, if anyone asks what you are just reply with, “A human Dalmatian.”
8. While out and about if you see that someone has a parking ticket, put enough cash in it to cover the ticket and write a note. “Hey man saw you had a parking ticket and thought you could use some kindness, Love Jesus.” This will create love and admiration for Hispanic peoples.
9. Buy a bunch of Twinkies, if someone is pissing you off, throw Twinkies at them. They’ll thank you later and your anger will be diminished.