How to survive Prison


So not long ago I was thinking about writing another one of my blog posts about a previous job I had. Namely, another roofing post. Since I had already written about my dealings with meth heads here here and here. I thought it was time to write about a guy I have a ton of respect for.

Barry Stack.

Barry was one of those guys that made everyone just laugh. If you were on a crew working with him you knew you were going to have a great time. He was really funny, and always had this innate ability to make you laugh like a silly girl at the dumbest thing. At lunch one time, while were talking in the shade he mentioned pulling an, “okie doke.” I was a little curious, Whats an “Okie doke” and how does one pull it?

You see Barry had been in prison as most roofers (Except me of course) have a custom to do. He was put in the slammer for stealing a boat and trailer from someone’s house. Apparently in the act of stealing the boat, the trailer lost a wheel and was grinding on the road. A local cop saw this and attempted to pull the boat over not knowing that it was stolen.

Barry revved it, but the chase didn’t last too long as he lost control of the trailer and the truck pulling it. He was arrested and was put in prison for 2 years. This of course gave him time to get off drugs which was the reason he was stealing things to begin with.

According to Barry, prison was the best thing that ever happened to him. He lost a ton of weight from all the working out. To this day I always say, “Off to the gym, time to get PRISON RIPPED.” Of course he got off drugs and turned his life around.

Pulling an “Okie Doke” as he put it, is when you get away from 3 guys who are trying to rape you. Which is a common occurrence as we’ve seen from TV.

SO! Having said that, and realizing that because Barry was so funny. There are three ways to survive prison.

  1.  Get swole and become a monster that no one will mess with.
  2. Make everyone laugh
  3. Sexual favors

Barry was a professional comedian not because he wanted to but because he wanted to survive.

SO for anyone who wants to be funny and isn’t, your best bet is to go to prison. If all else fails you can still either fight back or offer sexual favors.

Moses.

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to How to survive Prison

  1. mooselicker says:

    All three of those types of guys are completely different and represented in a normal society outside of prison too.

    The tough guys get the ladies based on being tough.
    The funny guys get the ladies based on their charm.
    The slutty guys get the girls because they give to the girls. It’s not sexual favors outside of prison, more like airport drives and sitting through bad movies with.

  2. BrainRants says:

    So the saying I get in the Army is: “Just relax and go with it… it makes it so much easier to take.”

  3. “Off to the gym, time to get PRISON RIPPED.” —- oh, how I lol’d.

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