A twitter or Facebook post for every occasion part 2

Hey everyone here are some free Twitter/Facbook statuses that I haven’t used so feel free use them and impress all your friends with all of your funny observations. I don’t ask for credit.. seriously. None.

Here is part 1 incase you’re interested.

1. Halloween, the only holiday where straight men won’t be judged for wearing makeup.

2. Human beings were never meant to have wings #poopsaretoobig

3. If a cop car pulled me over and a clown got out I would never speed again.

4. Do horses get turned on by whips as much as I do?

5. Candy canes are shaped like hooks because that’s the way the baby unicorns poop them.

6. Wind breakers are Stupid loud, they don’t break the wind. They just tell everyone I’m wearing a flag.

7. Electro-shock therapy, when all else fails just electrocute the brain.

8. The first guy to ride a bike probably forgot that the roads weren’t paved.

9. I couldn’t ever time travel, I’d be too afraid my mom would get the hots for me. (BACK TO THE FUTURE!)

10. If you want to confuse someone, walk up to them and start the conversation in the middle.

11. Just got off the phone with the president, apparently he doesn’t want me calling him anymore.





About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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7 Responses to A twitter or Facebook post for every occasion part 2

  1. tania says:

    I think this a bit comical but interesting is good ….

  2. Ahahahaha! I love this and I went back and read the first one too! Well done I literally laughed out loud and my husband looked at me funny….

  3. What an interesting blog! Some laugh out loud moments, thanks for that

  4. zorgor says:

    Status stolen. Thanks! 🙂

    Those are hilarious!

  5. Pingback: More free stuff here. | Maximum Wage

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