How to be the nicest guy OR girl on the planet.

So here are some tips to being the nicest nice person in the entire world.

1. While at a friends house using  the bathroom for any reason, if you notice the toilet paper is out… Replace it, also check to see if their is any backup toilet paper. You’ll be helping out someone, by avoiding the awkward screaming of “CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOME TOILET PAPER!?” While on the toilet.

2. One of your best friend’s significant other starts flirting with you. Try switching the conversation to how cool your best friend is, and how loyal you are to them.

3. While eating at a nice restaurant, forcefully ask to speak to the manager. Then proceed to praise the service and food you just received, even demanding a raise for your server.

4. While hanging out, your friend compliments you on a point you made.  Return that compliment…. With interest,  imagine if your friend was a predatory bank.

5. You see that your friend is wearing the same thing you are… Changing your clothes immediately, use the color wheel to help pick colors that would accentuate and enhance your friend’s outfit.

6. You’re in the middle of telling the funniest joke and your friend interrupts you to tell the punchline. DONT GET MAD! DONT GRAB A GUN! Instead, explain to everyone that it was their joke anyway. Haha!

7. You see complete strangers trying to take a photo in a public area. You offer to take the photo for them, and don’t zoom in on any cleavage.

8. Win the lottery… and “Spread the wealth” making sure NOT to lure any of your ex girlfriends back with your new found wealth. Instead, send them flowers and tell them its from a secret admirer.

9. If you see a homeless person on the street, offer them a blanket or a meal. At the very least, wave at them and smile in a non condescending way.

10. While driving, if you hear someone next to you at a stoplight blaring their music, roll down your windows and blare yours, so that they don’t feel left out.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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15 Responses to How to be the nicest guy OR girl on the planet.

  1. lgalaviz says:

    I feel nicer already just reading this. I rarely carry around blankets for the homeless, and I am a little afraid it would make me look silly. What if I carry around the blanket all day and never see anyone homeless? Also, it gets really hot here in the summer time. I am not sure where the homeless would store these blankets. I have been told; however, that I don’t know that much about being homeless.

    There are other points you have made here that are very good. I never thought about zooming in on cleavage for example. Now when I take the photographs of strangers, I will think about it and then not do it. That will make me much nicer.

  2. addiexit says:

    I already do the toilet paper thing because I believe in karma sometimes.

    My favorite is “3. While eating at a nice restaurant, forcefully ask to speak to the manager. Then proceed to praise the service and food you just received, even demanding a raise for your server.”

    Do people do this!? That would be quite nice. People tend to go out of their way to complain more than to compliment.

  3. Color wheel. Got it!

  4. Also – remember to call your family on a regular basis, even though they never once have called you, written you, or shown any concern for you well being.

  5. Tess Kann says:

    I’ve heard there is NO Christmas spirit anymore. NOT true. You brought it. Nice.

  6. just found your blog today and am a fan. like addiexit, number three is my favorite. am definitely going to execute on that one. looking forward to following along!

  7. Great post! Everyone ought to read this and practice it..the world would be so much better for it.

  8. The toilet-paper thing… I do it. I shall practice on not shooting people for stealing my punch-lines though.

    Great post, it’s nice to get a good laugh first thing in the morning 🙂

  9. The Hook says:

    this NEEDS to go viral! Good work!

  10. Will the color wheel thing work if your friend is ALSO trying to be the nicest guy OR girl??
    Also what does one do when given an undeserved wedgie? Or any response to bullying of any kind?

    Great blog 🙂

  11. Just read a second post of yours..I’m hooked

  12. mysending says:

    ooh–love #10! I have to try that next time! Thanks for the suggestion–you’re so nice!

  13. Anna says:

    These points are genuinely actually really nice! 😀

  14. I love how the first part of #8 necessitates actually winning the lottery, like it’s easy or something.

    Also, one time I was at a gas station waiting on someone to get back in the car from being inside and blared Hootie and the Blowfish really loud as a joke so they would be embarrassed when they got back in the car. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a nice thing to do.

  15. TheChronicR says:

    I personally think some of these are more creepy than nice or kind things to do. However in general I believe in karma so I try to do kind deeds to get some kindness back. I hope I didn’t spend 4 hours visiting others’ blogs for nothing… haha. I know, I’m selfish.

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