Hello everyone I hope your holiday season was great. I have another edition of free facebook or twitter posts for every occasion. Enjoy.
1. The first guy to look at an elephant and say, “I’m gonna try riding that” was probably drunk.
2.The first woman to invent the neck tie probably thought, “wow what a great leash!”
3. I understand boogers, and I get earwax, but why do we get small pebbles in the corner of our eyes over night?
4. Cars are a great way to get from point A to point B until you realize how stupid other people can be.
5. Are prison busses yellow? Because that would be pretty fitting if they were. I know school children would agree.
6. Oh don’t mind me, I’m just getting Christmas songs stuck in peoples heads still…. RIDING THROUGH THE SNOW IN A-
7. If I ever saw a leprechaun, I wouldn’t force him to show me his pot of gold or lucky charms. I’d ask him how the hell I got so high.
8. The very first clown after getting dressed up, looked in the mirror and thought to himself, “With this makeup and outfit on, none shall know I am a pedophile.”
9. Just found out something really cool, a half filled water bottle makes a very good thrown projectile.
10. Its funny, when you take a closer look at something you begin to see how shitty it really is. Take my resume for instance.