These pickup lines don’t work… Not that… I’ve tried…

Please don’t use these…. Ever…

1. You look familiar, Oh! You remind me of my favorite porn star. Wanna go back to my place and make a movie?

2. I’ve noticed with my binoculars that you take a shower every morning at 7:33 care for some company?

3. I WOULD love to take you out for a nice coffee and some anal. How about it?

4. Excuse me, do you drive a toyota corrolla, license plate #ZBR 263? IF SO! How about I follow you back to your place tonight?

5. Hello my lady, I am a level 12 warrior carrying 2 drinks, I cast my amorous spell of love on you with my eyes. You graciously accept one of my drinks, I then cast bonerous spell of boning on your woman parts, we then proceed to the-

6. HI! MY NAME is JASON! What? You don’t recognize me? Oh, well we met at a party a year ago. Oh you still don’t recognize me? How about if I call you on my cell, breathe deep into the phone and utter a few groans…. I’ll bet you’ll recognize me then.

7. Cupid told me to come talk to you, His arrow is in my pants.

8. Two questions, Whats your favorite sexual position? AND Whats your favorite sexual position while on meth?

9. You know what they say!? Once you get herpes you can’t get it again.

10. Hey I was wondering if we could be friends for a couple years letting you friend zone me until I get my courage up and end our friendship? Cool, Drinks are on me tonight!




About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in A Magical world filled with mystery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to These pickup lines don’t work… Not that… I’ve tried…

  1. You are right, these pick up lines would definitely NOT work.

    Great post as usual, your posts always have me chuckle.

    Brooke and Mckenzie

  2. *I lost my number – can I have yours?
    *Do you come here often? No? How about the bathroom stall?
    *Your teeth are like stars – because they come out at night.
    *Your lips are like plump caterpillars sitting on the cleaner end of miles of digestive tract and coated with whale blubber and plant dye!

  3. Sheena says:

    Coffee and anal has always been my favorite…goooood tiiiiiimes…umph!

  4. BrainRants says:

    What about, “Hey, would you…

    No, no. Never mind.

  5. Turber says:

    Pickup lines, oh no you mean I’ve actually talk to the other person first?
    My technique is kind of a shortcut, I guess.
    I usually insult the person first, a quick-test-kind-of-thing.
    If I don’t get threatened in return, I plan further steps. 🙂

  6. *Does this rag smell like ether to you?

  7. Anna says:

    #3 always gets me good. ALWAYS.

  8. tearlily says:

    I thought number 5 was so sweet until it became creepy. haha!

    “Hey are you from Tennessee because I want to make out with your face!” -Jenna marbles
    I think that only works if your a girl asking a guy…sorry boys haha.

    • MaximumWage says:

      Hahaha. I would totally make out with someone just because they were from a certain state. TOTAL turn on. And I’ll have to try the spell casting pickup line without the creep factor.

  9. Pingback: The Worst Pickup Lines Ever. | Maximum Wage

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s