If you use these words in conversation you probably sound like a dullard an idiot or at best someone who has misheard a word. Your friends are nice and won’t say anything, so its up to me to open your eyes.
You’re welcome.
1. Supposably.
So imagine an intellectual who is well respected and constantly speaks through his or her nose. On one occasion they happen to get a cold and use the word “Supposedly.” On those rare occasions the word “Supposedly” could actually sound like “Supposably.” Now to the rest of you, good luck on finding a better excuse than that to hide your idiocy.
2. Conversate.
Come, let us sit by the fire reciting poems. I in my obsequiousness speaking the warmth of our friendship and you conversating on the days events. Conversation IS a word, CONVERSATE is not. I think the word you are looking for is converse. Now I know what you’re thinking. (WHAT!? LIKE THE SNEAKER!?) Yes, like the sneaker. please stop using conversate. It isn’t a word.
3. Expresso
If you use this word, I will dump a 5 dollar Starbucks drink on your face. And don’t even think about going to Italy and asking for an Expresso. A 5$ Starbucks drink in your face will be the least of your worries.
4. Vay-cay, Vuh Jay jay, Totes, Presh and other shortened words.
Look I know, being in middle school is tough. So many people before you have thought of really cool words to say that made them the most popular in school. I mean gosh, the guy who invented the word “cool” is probably a billionaire right now. But lets be honest, its ok to text these words on your phone to your other middle schooler friends, seen and not heard so to speak. Use them in front of me and I will throw wild hay makers until I see blood!
5. Random or Awkward or Literally
These words were over used about 5 years ago. Please stop using them as “filler” words. “Hey I went to the gas station and filled up my tank. OH THATS RANDOM!“No! its not Random, people fill up their gas tanks because they have to.
“Oh my God, Justine, this totally ugly boy just asked me out! Why couldn’t he have been hot?! AWKWARD! About 97% of situations before the age of 40 are awkward to some degree. Please get over it.
I literally- STOP NO YOU DIDN’T!
6. Irregardless
I have a confession. I did use this word. I am not perfect. For future reference all you have to say is “Regardless.” Don’t kill me, irregardless of what you might have heard….. DAMN! I DID it again-
7. Winning
I can’t even respond to this word anymore.
Maximum Wage 
BAH HA! I use the words VAY CAY and OBVI just to make my husband mad. Works like a charm!
I have to take umbrage with you saying irregardless is not a word. It came into such common usage a number of years ago, it was actually added to the dictionary. You are correct in stating regardless would be the proper use of the word, but once it’s added to the dictionary – it becomes a word you can use. So feel free to use it all you want! 🙂
Thank you. Like, totally.
Irregardless?? eew!
I have another favorite. People who use ‘myself’ instead of ‘me’. “Who’s going to the concert?” “Well, it’s myself and Jane and Paul.” (buzzer!) ‘Yo’ bad self’, did you say? How about- (thinking of the old rule of “I am going to the concert”), “Jane, Paul and I are going.” Note, that’s NOT Jane, Paul and Me. Sigh. It seems so simple but we hear this done incorrectly everywhere from teachers to talking heads on TV.
Winning!
Ummmm… NO…
Let us not forget bro..”Hey hold this for me bro?” “Spot me, bro?” “Love me infinitely and hold me in your muscled arms….bro?” DUUUUUUDE BRO! I like your post, as always very funny 🙂
You literally made my day 😀 .
Thank you for yet another great post.
once again i stare “random” in the face and know that he shall never leave me alone. He never comes out in attempt to be an exclamatory sentence nearly or by himself (see post example), but he is very good at providing a visual description of how some of my thoughts appear to the common public. it’s a concept formed by, what i may call, my linearly-tangent mind. we have lots of candy here served out of rusty vans driven by rusty men with rusty nails that threaten you with rusty tetanus where you have to get a rusty shot to cure you of your rusty disease-thing before your rusty pecker falls off. that situation, may i be so bold, would be quite random
The one word that irks me is supposably. Ugh!
I want to punch people in the face when they call “espresso” “expresso.” Similarly when people call chipotle “chipotellay” or Swiffer “Swifter” I also want to curl up and die. It’s usually the same people who use all these words.
Ugh, its like nails on a chalkboard
My husband calls chipotle “chipol-tee.” Makes me want to scream.
I literally thought this post was soooo random. Awesome! Supposably, I ought to suggest this one: “Sowhatahappeninwas.” That’s, like, an excuse. Tubular. I use it irregardless of the, like, you know, situation, bro.
Awkward!
Reblogged this on Spotts in the Valley of the Sun and commented:
I love, love, love this post. There are more words I could add, but I’ll save it for another day. This is fab-u-lous! Hi-lar-i-ous! It makes my heart pitter-pat…a lot!
Every time someone says “literally”, I LITERALLY feel like slapping them in the face. GRRRR!
Hi Maximum Wage,
Funny post, I have to agree with you on all cases. “Nucular” instead of nuclear gets me going, too. I was a bit distracted by your irreverence for the apostrophe, but that is neither here nor there. Thanks for the laugh!
Crap, I like Vuh Jay Jay!
You need to hook up with ‘the Oatmeal’.
That guy has such great blog posts. I couldn’t draw to save my life, so I’m sure he wouldn’t want me anywhere near him but thanks for the compliment.
Ok you need to check this guy out (although you may know him already) http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html that’s my favourite post of his but everything else is pretty funny too.
NO! I don’t know him, Funny and hilarious stuff thanks for sharing. I have only seen one of his posts before on the interwebs. Truly funny stuff. AND thanks for all the sharing of my page.
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