Quotes from my friends

Like many of you I happen to have a great set of friends who are funny. Some of them even more so than myself. I recently started writing down some of the funny things they’ve said and thought, “hey why not write a blog post about it.”

So here goes nothing and if any of these aren’t funny, then maybe this is one of those “Yah kinda had to be there” attitudes. In which case I apologize for wasting your time and not being funny.

“I think its cute when you smile your eyes disappear. Its like you’re Chinese, but only when you smile.”

“In new and unusual social situations every teenager is awkward and uncomfortable, which is why I would never want to be one again. I have a hard enough time as a woman in my mid 20’s. I don’t want to be painfully awkward anymore.”

“Vesuvian, Vetruvian, you know the Da Vinci drawing about the guy with 4 arms and 4 legs and 1 dong.

“Spaghetini, more like Faghetini” “Spaghetini is the pink hand bag of pastas”

  • Friend 1: “I don’t eat anything with a face.”
  • Friend 2: “I don’t eat bottom feeders.”
  • Friend 3: “I don’t eat anything that carries its home on its back.”
  • Friend 4: “Well I don’t eat homeless people.”
  • Friend 1: “What did the Amish wear if they can’t have buttons or zippers?”
  • Friend 2: “Yoga pants”
  • Friend 3: “Hans! Help me hitch this horse up! My yoga pants are riding up!”

“Did anyone else kinda fall in love with the female squirrel from Sword in the Stone when they were younger? Nope? Just me? She’s all mine!”

“I’ve never had a hooker but I imagine the feelings experienced afterward are similar to eating Wendys… regret & a yearning for a wet nap.”

“Can I bring nunchucks? Is a question that no one should have to ask.”

“My dream acting job would be to get a company’s orientation video, only to then get a job AT that company and when it came time to watch the orientation with all other new hires, their reactions would be priceless…….. And then I’d quit.”

Alright folks thats it. Enjoy your day.



About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Quotes from my friends

  1. BrainRants says:

    I’m a huge fan of series posts. You really need to maintain this one. Great and funny effort!

  2. Anna says:

    My friend used to write down everything one of our other friends used to say at school because the things he would come out with were so ridiculous. ‘Giant flies will take over the world’ being one of the more amusing excerpts.

  3. SaFire says:

    they are funny alright. 🙂

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