Recognizing your facial hair.

Hello everyone,

I thought it was time to rename some common facial hair types. I’ve put the previous name at top and included MY NEW NAME in the photo.


1. The Full Beard

2. Mutton Chops

3.Van Dyke

4. Hulihee

5. Chin Curtain

6. Goatee

7. Petit Goatee

8. Duck Tail

9. Fu Manchu

10. Old Dutch

11. Soul patch

12. Handlebar + Goatee combo

13. Handlebar

So please feel free to use these names in public use and give me all of the credit.



About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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11 Responses to Recognizing your facial hair.

  1. Anna says:

    I wish I had a beard *cries*

    No, seriously though.


  2. I am currently sporting the Biker Beard.

  3. BrainRants says:

    And then there’s the option where you can’t have a beard, because the Army says so. Dammit.

  4. joehoover says:

    chin hitler, love it!

  5. I had forgotten there were so many kinds. . . Done by hand? Nice.

  6. Safire says:

    Goddamit. You are incredibly funny.

  7. toosoxy says:

    Three is TOTALLY called the Youk.

  8. missuswoman says:

    My friend gave me a fake beard for my birthday a few years ago and the packaging called it a ‘Pirate Beard’ but I never really felt it was very much like Blackbeards one. I see now that it actually meant ‘The Tenured Professor’ so thanks for clearing that up for me after so long. 😀

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