The Top 25 reasons Why You’re Still Unemployed

1. The Recession

2. Because those beers won’t drink themselves.

3. Because its not your fault.

4. The Recession

5. Your daddy got fired too.

6. The Recession

7. Your resume lists “Ass kicker” and “Inventor of the Choke hold” as former job titles.

8. Your idea of looking for a job is creating a “career builder” profile and responding to the spam emails.


10. You can’t find work because you’re still in high school competing with college graduates for a job at Baskin Robbins.


12. You can’t find work because you’re in your late 50’s and companies are looking to hire kids in their early twenties who are willing to do the same work you do but for 30% less money.

13. You’re pregnant.


22. Because Leprechaun hunter isn’t a real job.

23. You were fired from your last job for leaving at “Shark O’clock,” that’s a made up time.

24. You lied on your resume. Nobody believes you interned with Napoleon Bonaparte.



About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Top 25 reasons Why You’re Still Unemployed

  1. Katie says:

    Finally, a reason!

  2. Sheena says:

    But my unemployment doesn’t run out for another three months….

  3. BrainRants says:

    What about leaving work at beer:30 ?

  4. John says:

    Because you got caught at your last job after hours with your assistant doing “research.”

  5. edrevets says:

    Or, you’re living the worst of all worlds by working full/over time but because you got a degree in International Relations, the most common job available to you is an unpaid intern.

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