1. Everything I know about History I learned from watching my dad read the morning paper….. “Back in my day!”
2. Everything I know about reading I learned from the show “Reading Rainbow.”
3. Everything I learned about sex was from repressing memories over the course of my entire life, and rehashing those memories every time I hear a door slam.
4. All of the Spanish I learned was from the Tv show Sesame street, Dora the Explorer, the movies, Traffic and Y tu mama tambien which is a good mix of both innocent and raw if you know what I mean.
5. Perception is 9/10 of the reason why people enter NOT GUILTY verdicts, the other 1/10 is for people who are bored.
6. I learned to tie my shoes by copying the other school kids at class. I would secretly un-tie their shoes and watch them as they retied their own. I still put the shoes on the wrong foot though.
7. Everything I know about toothpaste is that it cleans my teeth and that you can’t get it back in the tube… NO matter how hard you try.
8. I LEARNED the hard way that the older you get the more exercise and dieting you have to do. By the time I’m 80 I’ll have- WAIT who am I kidding I’m not living past 50.
9. I learned that people who make lists don’t follow them and more often than not, lie to those around them and on the internet….. *GET IT?!*