Job Titles for Your Resume.


So you’re sitting at home working on your resume. You want to get hired but are unsure of how to jigger your resume so that your previously “Illegal” work sounds legitimate. Here is some help with those job titles you just can’t say on a resume. (That rhymed)

1. Hitman = Permanent Sleep Technician

2. Drug Dealer = Street Pharmacologist

3. Illicit Drug Maker = Pharmaceutical Rep

4. Elephant = Fertilizer Production Assistant

5. Secretary = Personal Assistant

6. Graffiti Artist = Street Beautification Manager

7 Fire Fighter = Incendiary Chaos Expert

8. Vampire = Nocturnal Phlebotomist

9. Lumberjack = Lumberjack

10. Porn Star = Anal Sexpert or Actor.

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Job Titles for Your Resume.

  1. J-Dub says:

    Blogger = Volunteer Copyright Infringement Analyst.

  2. BrainRants says:

    Army Guy = Foriegn Policy Enforcer

  3. Anna says:

    Ha! I love these. My current job title of ‘Help Desk Representative’ sounds much too plain by comparison, ‘Anal Sexpert’ it is then.

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