Thoughts On Things 2

Everyone needs protection from zombies right? AND SPAM! Here are some more musings on different topics and everyday occurrences. Here is the original post.


If Zombies could talk, they’d only have two phrases, “FOOD!” and “You’re not food.”


Who was the first guy to say, “I’m sick of this writing lead getting all over my hand, I know! I’ll cover it with wood and call it a pencil!”

Grass is always greener:

They say, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” But not for dogs, they’re colorblind. Maybe that’s why they’re happy all the time.” HAPPINESS is being colorblind, the grass will never be greener on the other side.

West Virginia:

Maybe one of the reasons why Aliens have never made themselves known to us is because Earth is like the West Virginia of the Universe. Aliens are always passing through with more important places to go.

Angry People:

Every person who has lost their temper at some point wishes they turned into the hulk while losing it.


Penises can kill, just ask Aids.

Freedom of speech:

If you ever think you have freedom of speech, go into your bosses office and tell him how you really feel about him or her. After getting all of your emotions and feelings off your chest, then proceed to the unemployment office.

Septic system:

I know! Lets take all of the poop and pee and just put it in a tank under the ground. And then when it gets full, we’ll pay some guy a  lot of money to PUMP it out! WHAT CAN GO WRONG!?

Going to Starbucks as a man:

A little bit of me dies every time they announce my drink and name at Starbucks. I can be on a committee to think up more masculine sounding names Starbucks. Instead of the mocha frappucino how about the Chocoloate Pushup shake.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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4 Responses to Thoughts On Things 2

  1. funny! but wouldn’t zombies just say Food or Not food. I would feel bad if a zombie actually said to me “you’re not food.” like they had something personal against me or somethin’…

  2. “penises can kill, just ask aids” dear lord I just spit my tea everywhere. Thanks for the laugh.

  3. BrainRants says:

    You’re probably damn right about Earth being the West Virginia of the universe.

  4. Pingback: Thoughts on Things 3 | Maximum Wage

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