Famous Last Words

It happens so often, we’re about to head out on the lake, go on a date or try something new. So we utter those famous last words, “What could possibly go wrong?”

You know what I’m talking about…. Here are some famous last words that I’ve said, or have over heard as well as a few made up just for good measure.

1. “These Berries can’t be poisonous” Said the hikers.

2. “Taxes?! I never pay those.” Said Wesley Snipes.

3. “You’re not gonna shoot me.” Said the bad guy.

4. “Where does this door lead?” Said the astronaut about to open the air lock.

5. “Seat belts are for Pussies…. So are condoms.” Said the man who fathered many children dying young.

6. “I’ve got to investigate this scary barn.” said the white guy in a horror movie.

7.  “Guys, as part of our secret club we should wear secret uniforms. Lets take pillow cases and cut eye holes in them and wear them.” Said Steve the white supremacist.

8. “Tell me more about Amway.” Said the guy who regretted it.

9.  “Yep! This is the year I take all my money and put it in the stock market.” Said the guy who regretted it in 2008.

10. “Mullets are not out of style!” “Disco is LIFE man!” Said I guy I knew.

11. “Our new neighbors seem harmless, I mean they barely survived a winter here, we should help them.” Said the random native American in Virginia circa 1607

12. “Its time we did it guys! ITS TIME WE SECEDED from the Union!” Said Jefferson Davis…. I think.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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12 Responses to Famous Last Words

  1. James says:

    that is pretty funny

  2. I have found most of your posts funny. Some I did not understand. This one I GET—ALL of it. Funny for sure.

  3. “My head really hurts. How did the play end?”… Lincoln.
    “Watch out for that truck.”… Patton.
    “Holy crap!”… a whole lot of people.

  4. BrainRants says:

    Awesome picture and funny quote.

    “This won’t hurt a bit,” Hermann Goebbels

    “This won’t hurt a bit,” my dentist

    “This won’t hurt a bit,” my lawyer, first divorce

    “This won’t hurt a bit,” my lawyer, 2nd

    “This won’t hurt a bit,” BrainRants, to the next dumbass who says, ‘It won’t hurt a bit.’

    There. I just gave you a whole blog and shit.

  5. “Tell me more about Amway” LMAO!

  6. “Don’t worry I’ll pull out” says the future teen dad

  7. benzeknees says:

    “You can’t get pregnant your very first time” says the future teen mom.
    “This hurts me more than it hurts you” says the abusive father.
    This was very funny!

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