The Things I’ve learned from Metal Music.

Here are some things I’ve learned about Metal music. If you aren’t a fan that’s ok, you still might find some of these observations funny. I will admit I’m not a huge metal fan but I do from time to time have the need to use it.

1.People get sad sometimes.

2.There are three sizes of Metal music,

Metal, Heavy Metal and Death Metal. Which is very similar to Tall, Grande and Venti at Starbucks.

3.If you want to be in a Metal band, you have to wear makeup.

4.There are multiple times in your life where metal music can be used to your advantage.

  • Before battle
  • While doing hardcore drugs
  • Petting kittens
  • All throughout high school
  • While summoning dark forces
  • Baking cupcakes
  • Interrogations
  • TO RAGE!

5.Everything has a soundtrack. EVERYTHING.

6.It has been accurately described as “Cookie Monster Music.” I like that description.

7. No matter what music you like and what concerts you go to, you will always be shocked at a metal concert. GUARANTEED.

8.In my opinion death metal does not create psychopaths or killers, however the people who listen to it aren’t exactly Mahatma Ghandi. Think of it as misery loves company.

9. Do you like drummers? Do you like Drums? Do you like Loud drummers drumming on drums alot? Oh sweet you’ll love metal.

10. Some people get very sad.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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3 Responses to The Things I’ve learned from Metal Music.

  1. What the heck can I say to that?

  2. what specific metal music do you listen to while petting kittens. I myself prefer icp.

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