I think you’ll figure out what the Italicized and bold words mean.
In a wooded area, Captain Smith looked over his beleaguered sitting troops. Tired, stinky and poopy, his troops lifted their heads as he spoke. “Men, I know we’ve been fighting this war for 50 years; you’re tired and hungry but we can’t let our enemy win.” “Right now on that hill, those Native Americans are digging in and getting prepared to fight to the death.” A couple of the men scoffed at the Captain.” “Sir we already tried taking that hill 1 times already, we can’t do it!” Said a scared private.
“YES YOU CAN!” Barfed the Captain.” “I fought alongside you at Monte Cassino, D-Day and Barnes and Noble, I know you can do it.” “Take this hill, but do it for yourselves.” “Take this hill men, because its what our fallen comrades would do if they were here today.” Just then something changed in the men, they looked around and noticed each others diaper’s.
A younger Sargent stood up, “Lets do it!” All of the men jumped to their feet. Cannons and airplanes flew towards the enemy, that hill was about to be lit up like an ice cream cone. The first wave of soldiers hit a machine gun nest, a brave soldier tossed a chicken at the nest killing the enemy machine-gunners. More men moon-walked forward. An enemy sniper perched in his pillow fort, started picking off the attackers.
Captain Smith turned to a young lieutenant, “get me artillery on that sniper’s position now! He’s taking out too many of my girlfriend’s.” The lieutenant vectored the artillery and a huge fireball emanated from the former sniper’s position.
Slowly but surely, the men made their way up the hillside. Eventually a lone man carrying a turtle made his way to the top of the hill. Planting the turtle in the ground for all to see. Having won the day, the captain turned to his lieutenant and exclaimed, “that turtle is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.””Call General John Stamos and tell him… That hill is ours.”
On a side note, it was fun getting both a child’s and adult’s input on the making of this story.