Do you ever….??

-Do you ever reach that point in a new relationship where you get buyer’s remorse?

-Do you ever get cocaine and Coca cola confused? I mean, you’re at a friends house and he asks, “would you like some coke?” and you’re all, “Yeah I’m thirst-” and thats when a rolled up 100 dollar bill is given to you and a hand mirror with lines of COKE is put in front of you. Do you ever do that?

-Do you ever get that feeling that you’re being watched? I mean specifically at 8:15 am every Tuesday while you shower, or yet again on Friday nights watching jeopardy while slowly crying into your cup of tea because you’re all alone? DO YOU? well you should

-Do you ever wonder how cool it would be if we didn’t have beaches but instead just a giant bathtub for the oceans?

-Do you ever make threats against a random guy who cut you off on the road, only to discover that he’s mafia, and you now live in a trailer park all the way across the country under an assumed name?

-Do you ever think aliens are conducting sexual experiments on humans because they’re just as pervy as us?

-Do you ever think tequila was invented as a joke? OR as a secret punishment?

-Do you ever wonder why they stopped making PT Cruisers? Maybe its because the PT stood for “probably temporary” or ‘”poopy transporter?” Yeah they probably should have changed the name.

-Do you ever wonder what cell phones were like before touch screens? When cell phones had buttons? Did women shave their legs? Did Aspirin exist?

-Do you ever think bell bottoms will come back into style? Hoop skirts? Wearing the scalps of your enemies? I for one hope these wigs come back into style- ESPECIALLY FOR DUDES.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in A Magical world filled with mystery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Do you ever….??

  1. Sheena says:

    Yes. All of these. I hope aliens to perverted things to me and I really hope men start wearing wigs powdered to be exact…sexy.

  2. MaximumWage says:

    I knew I could count on you….Also, I like complaining about cold weather too. FYI.

  3. I actually had a student beat up a new orleans gang member not knowing and within hours his family had him on a plane to another state. Scary ass shit.

  4. J-Dub says:

    Your Coke/Cocaine conundrum is very simliar to one of mine where a misunderstanding of the use of the word “blow” cost me a female acquaintance and an indecent exposure charge…

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