Abraham Lincoln Vampire Lover

So this new movie Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter comes out soon. It looks like it’ll be a decent action flick and one that I’ll probably see. Yes I can tell all of this just from a trailer, its one of my superpowers.

I recently saw this tweet by Chris Rock:

And it got me thinking about other American leaders and their stories.

1. George Washington, Tree Killer.

2. JFK, Cuban hunter (we know who won this)

3. William Howard Taft, Cheesecake Killer

4. Franklin Pierce, Umm dude who does stuff.

5. Ulysses S Grant, Confederate Hunter

6. FDR, Polio Killer (we know who won this)

7. Hebert Hoover, Economy Killer

8. Bill Clinton, Vagina Slayer

9. George W Bush, Terrorizer Finder Killer

10. Pat Robertson, Homo Hunter.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Lover

  1. Reblogged this on randomhelpfulness and commented:
    I thought this was funny, also!

  2. I agree with Chris Rock, movie looks ridiculous

  3. tor4hershman says:

    I wonder if ALVH could’ve been inspired by my
    “Everybody Loves Darwin The Vampire Slayer”
    comedy bit.
    Thievery. . .amongst DNA. . . . .IN HOLLYWOOD!!!
    Naaaaaah, couldn’t be.

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