Facebook and the Art of Unfriending People

I’m sure we’ve all had the pleasure, NAY the enjoyment of logging on to Facebook and realizing that someone has rejected us. Someone has said, “we don’t matter” or “I don’t like you enough to be your Facebook friend” or “You’re a fat asshole and I don’t like being your digital friend.” Right?

I’m here to say, it hurts, It really does. There isn’t a whole lot that can be done to unhurt the emotional pain, but I am here to say there is hope. Hope for a brighter tomorrow.

About 3 months ago I noticed a disturbing trend amongst some of my friends. They had the tendency to close their accounts when the drama in their lives was set to “Frappe.” Being the drama free person that I am, I started to get perturbed at these Facebook whack-a-moles and was curious. How do I find out who unfriended me? WHO? Who was the Judas Iscariot, the Benedict Arnold, the backstabbing Osama bin Nazi Fascist leader who unfriended me? Were they coming back? Did I care who it was?

I don’t know about you, but I can’t keep track of all my digital friends. So I began to do some digging and came across this website called Social Fixer. Its an add on to your browser that lets you track who unfriended you. As well as blocking all those annoying friends and apps that spam your home screen. So instead of searching through all of my friends, in pursuit of the bastard who unfriended me, I now had a simple alert that could tell me who the butt head really was.

The best part, is that it lets you know whether the weasel who unfriended you, did just that. Sometimes people block you, sometimes they close their accounts. YOU NEED PEACE OF MIND.! RIGHT!?

In summation Facebook is just a silly coincidence of social interaction now a days. We really shouldn’t pay no mind to people who unfriend us for unknown reasons. We should concentrate instead on people who want to be in our digital lives. Those… Those are the people who matter. RIGHT!? I mean just because we might run into each other in the future at our mutual friend’s wedding doesn’t mean I should punch this person in the face right?

So go and have fun kids, go meet someone new and start a new relationship. Even if it is digital. But don’t play it close to your heart you might get hurt.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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12 Responses to Facebook and the Art of Unfriending People

  1. I had one of those friend tracker thingies once, and it made me even more obsessive about who was unfriending me and WHY DAMMIT WHY? But seriously, do people not know how to hide others from their news feeds?

    I feel like I’m pouring way too much time into worrying about this.

    • MaximumWage says:

      Yeah you shouldnt worry too much unlike myself and this blog post. I will say that sometimes ignorance is bliss. I kind of wish I didnt know when someone unfriended me.

  2. PLAID CAKE says:

    Oh my stars, you had me at “Who was the the Judas Iscariot, the Benedict Arnold, the backstabbing Osama bin Nazi Fascist leader who unfriended me?”. I am adding you to my Reader. I’ll be your blogger friend. I promise to not unfollow you either. Until you post about what you had for lunch and/or pictures of your friend’s sister’s cousin’s baby. Hehehe.

  3. carcarbone says:

    i Love defriending people

  4. J-Dub says:

    Personally, I think worrying about who unfriended me is like worrying about where a turd goes after I flush.

  5. Tess Kann says:

    I don’t think I would waste any time worrying about being unfriended or unFacebooked or whatever you want to call it. I’ve lots to keep me entertained already. LOL.

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