In honor of the upcoming 4th of july and America’s independence from England, I declare- GAME OVER I WIN America!
For everyone who just read the title of this blog post and one of my life’s biggest accomplishments, you’re welcome. You now have a goal to aspire to as well. Please try to best one of the greatest most American feats possible.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Wait?! WTF?! This asshole calls himself American, but he hasn’t been to ALL 50 states.” Yes that’s right, I am an asshole for celebrating but you would celebrate your victory too if you believed that North Dakota wasn’t a state. I checked, Its not a state, its a SOVEREIGN NATION completely removed from the United States of America.
I’ve done it, I’ve been to New York city. I took a ride on the reading railroad, I’ve had some of those delicious amber waves of grain, with a side of steak and freedom. I’ve even been on a hike in those Purple mountains of majesty. They’re pretty gorgeous if you go between march and may. So many stories so many beautiful landscapes and people. The Jack Daniels distillery is fun to go to, as well as the Golden Gate bridge. Super hot women in bars will walk up to you and talk to you if you go out and about in Alabama. Alaska has lots of snow. Hawaii has lots of sun. Delaware has lots of… of…. wares.
Seriously, The United States is a fun country to wander around in, If you haven’t had the chance I recommend it. You have two choices when deciding where to go, places with people or places without people.
Thanks for reading, I honestly just wanted a reason to gloat when I started calculating how many states I’ve been to last night while talking over drinks with friends. When it was discovered that I have the most at 49 I started celebrating like a sore winner. 😦
And sorry North Dakota, I’m sure you’re great and all but I’ll get to you someday. Also, If by any chance, any of my readers have been to all 50, I won’t believe it. Nice try liars.