For the record these are Actual quotes from rednecks. I’m not making this up, I heard these with my own ears.
1. On a redneck’s wife, “My wife is kinda flat chested and she likes taking it up the ass, I think she might secretly be a dude.”
2. On homosexuality, “Hey an asshole is an asshole.”
3.On finishing a meal, “Whelp looks like I’m figuring on saving up for a nice big ole turd.”
4. On avoiding DUIs and cops, “Park your car at walmart and then pay a cabbie to pick you up and take you to the bar. Later after you’ve had a few, have that cab take you back to walmart.
5.On gay jokes, “Everything is a gay joke if you look hard enough.”
6. “What has 8 titties and 10 teeth? —- The night shift at the waffle house.”
7. “What is 75 foot long and has 20 teeth? —- The funnel cake line at the West Virginia fair.”
8. On food and Hitler, “Hitler was right but he went too far… Let’s go to lunch.”
9. Advice, “Stay out of the ditches, stay away from witches and don’t catch no itches.”