When Its Ok To Punch A Child

I bet you clicked on this thinking  a total asshole was going to give you permission to punch a child? WRONG. The physical abuse of a child is not cool. I understand sometimes children can really annoy us, even to the point of rage. BUT KEEP YOUR COOL DAMN IT! NO PUNCHING KIDS!

Having said that, please enjoy this list of times when you can.

1. Inside of a video game.

How many times have you been playing a character based video game and you chance upon an Orc village. You’re all, “OMG lets pillage and loot that whole village.” And you’re buddy is all, “WAIT WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN?” “Don’t worry man its just a video game.” You say without hesitation. Its not real, Orcs don’t exist. Besides you don’t want that little Orc child growing up to fight you? DO YOU?

2. When they’re possessed with demons.

Seriously punch away.

3. When they form religious cults that murder adults.

This movie is based on a true story. (TRUE STORY)

4. When they’re from other planets, bent on the destruction of the human race.

Seriously, how could you not punch those faces? All I see are targets.

5.If you both are part of a larger cartoon community.

6. When they aren’t technically YOURS!? AM I RIGHT? Ok just kidding. I don’t have anymore reasons.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in A Magical world filled with mystery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to When Its Ok To Punch A Child

  1. Jillian says:

    For some reason, now I really want to go watch children of the corn (which I’ve never seen). Does this mean I want to punch children and have found a possible outlet??

  2. becca3416 says:

    When can I punch babies? That’s what I really want to know.

  3. I’m warming up my fists right now.

  4. ysobele says:

    Always… always… Stephen King gives me nightmares… with children like that I’d even burn them >.< … then laugh the evil laugh… see who gets scared 😛

  5. saradraws says:

    Zombie kids. You forgot those. In fact, feel free to punt them.

  6. Storkhunter says:

    I’ve never read Children of the Corn but now I really want to. Stephen King’s kids are scary. How about those creepy twins in The Shining

  7. Le Clown says:

    Maximum Wage,
    Is this a Bing Crosby song?
    Le Clown

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