Dude, Bro, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

We all have those moments. You know, the ones where our friends let us know what happened the night before. Because of my recent inebriation on the election night I wanted to post some interesting descriptions of drunken debauchery, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT have happened.

  • —  “Dude, I wasn’t that drunk last night.”

“Yeah you were, you congratulated a potato on getting a role in Toy Story 3.”

  • —  Moses, you said “Fuck you mortals!” and then you transcended to a drinking level  held only for Dionysus himself.
  • — “Last night you called a midget a leprechaun and a leprechaun a midget, they weren’t too happy.”
  • — “Bro, you didn’t just puke, you popped a large balloon of orange water. Those Vodka crushes were angry at being confined in your stomach.
  • — “Dude, you were so drunk last night, you picked up my cat and in the most serious voice asked it why it killed Mufasa.
  • — “This is how drunk you were last night, Brad asked you if he could “suck on your titties.” You responded, “there is no milk in em.” WHAT!? I MEAN WHAT!? Do you want a child? are you ok with Brad doing that to you? WHAT!? Brad’s mouth just dropped.
  • — “Booby trap backwards is Party boob.”
  • — ” You ordered red headed sluts all night, you finally found a red head and what do you say? “She’ll have a her, its on me. The bartender was so confused.”
  • — “So, Jason has a crush on you. Telling him hundreds of times last night that you and him should have a girl’s night, wasn’t the best idea.”
  • — “Dude when you drink don’t ever drive. If Mario Kart had a cop, it would’ve pulled you over by now.”

About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in A Magical world filled with mystery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Dude, Bro, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

  1. becca3416 says:

    Couldn’t finish the post, because I am still in amazement at party boob / booby trap.

  2. Storkhunter says:

    I’ve said “fuck you mortals,” plenty times. And I wasn’t even drunk. I’m also still boggling my mind over party boob /booby trap.

  3. These were all amazing! I can’t even decide what’s your little hidden gem in this one! Faves: the titties and the Mufasa-killin’ cat. 🙂

  4. ysobele says:

    hahahaha… “she’ll have her on me…” 😀 😀 😀
    confused much >.<

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