We all have those moments. You know, the ones where our friends let us know what happened the night before. Because of my recent inebriation on the election night I wanted to post some interesting descriptions of drunken debauchery, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT have happened.
- — “Dude, I wasn’t that drunk last night.”
“Yeah you were, you congratulated a potato on getting a role in Toy Story 3.”
- — Moses, you said “Fuck you mortals!” and then you transcended to a drinking level held only for Dionysus himself.
- — “Last night you called a midget a leprechaun and a leprechaun a midget, they weren’t too happy.”
- — “Bro, you didn’t just puke, you popped a large balloon of orange water. Those Vodka crushes were angry at being confined in your stomach.
- — “Dude, you were so drunk last night, you picked up my cat and in the most serious voice asked it why it killed Mufasa.
- — “This is how drunk you were last night, Brad asked you if he could “suck on your titties.” You responded, “there is no milk in em.” WHAT!? I MEAN WHAT!? Do you want a child? are you ok with Brad doing that to you? WHAT!? Brad’s mouth just dropped.
- — “Booby trap backwards is Party boob.”
- — ” You ordered red headed sluts all night, you finally found a red head and what do you say? “She’ll have a her, its on me. The bartender was so confused.”
- — “So, Jason has a crush on you. Telling him hundreds of times last night that you and him should have a girl’s night, wasn’t the best idea.”
- — “Dude when you drink don’t ever drive. If Mario Kart had a cop, it would’ve pulled you over by now.”