The Top Birth Names For 2013

Continuing the trend of babies. I came across this list of the most popular children’s (expected) names of 2013.

I’m like, “how do they know?Do they have time machines and a data center equipped to spit out birth certificates filed in 2013?” I mean come on! I’m not that stupid.

So I did some research and found out yes, these names are true. If you plan on getting pregnant in the near future you might want to avoid these names.


  • Hanna Montana (Many of the girls who watched that show are now in their child birthing years)
  • Guccia
  • (apparently runs a promotion where you get free mascara for life if you name your child after the website.)
  • Jacuzzi
  • PomPom  (capitalize both Ps)
  • Gavina
  • LOL 🙂 (I double checked its real)
  • Maxim
  • Strippuh Pole
  • Bella
  • Kardashia


  • Hard Hat
  • Cockington
  • Ford
  • Nolan/Ryan (the / is part of the name, you have to say slash to make the name complete.)
  • Bong Hit
  • Maximus Thor (this is a real name Proof)
  • Brad
  • Do you even lift bro?
  • Konker (Do not spell it Conquer)

First of all, glad to see BRAD is coming back as a popular name. I am shocked to see Bella still in the top mostly due to Twilight fans of course. What I really can’t wait for is to vote for president in 2052, Senator Cockington Johnson is sure to win.


About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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4 Responses to The Top Birth Names For 2013

  1. rebecca2000 says:

    I did you look up the dotcoms because I looked and couldn’t find it.

  2. I’m pretty excited for President LOL.

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