Said No One Ever.


— Hey bro, lets write poems to each other while soaking in the hot tub drinking our beers.

— Hey bro, lets put blanks in our pistols and go fire them at cops. We’ll scare the SHIT out of em.

— I was thinking just now that I really want to know what your butt hole tastes like.

— Guys, bros, dudes, fuhrer, we should seriously not invade Poland. We should like, love everyone.

— I really only want a child so that someone will finally love me.

— Make war, not love. Seriously guys, no sex only killing each other.

— Lets play Russian roulette with 6 bullets instead of 1.

— The only thing I hate about smoking is that it makes me look dorky and uncool.

— I really wish someone would make twilight into a live action musical. (WAIT SOMEONE HAS SAID THIS)

— Hey man, you still have those, God hates fags signs right? Well lets go picket this dead soldier’s funeral. (OH WAIT SOMEONE HAS SAID THIS)

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Said No One Ever.

  1. jayne ayres says:

    you’re a funny guy! Yes, I said that.

  2. becca3416 says:

    “Make war, not love. Seriously guys, no sex only killing each other.” had me in stitches. Good job. Maybe you should talk to me monkey about the whole butt hole one though. I am pretty sure if he could talk he would say something like that.

  3. “Hey bro, lets put blanks in our pistols and go fire them at cops. We’ll scare the SHIT out of em.”
    I feel like you might’ve given someone ideas….

    “I really only want a child so that someone will finally love me.”
    Didn’t Octomom say that???

    • MaximumWage says:

      I hope not. I didn’t think anyone has ever thought of doing anything to scare cops.

      You are slightly right about Octomom, although one might consider because of her “angelina jolie” plastic surgery. That she wanted to be famous, and the only way to do that was by blowing up her uterus and vagina.

  4. ridicuryder says:

    Hello MaximumWage,

    Your Funny is Funny.

    We did this one thing once that the Bomb Squad didn’t find too funny.

    Just sorta scary.

    RidicuRyder

  5. J-Dub says:

    “Hey, honey…let’s just get some microwave burritos and a Redbox movie for our anniversary.”

    That guy has no shot at tasting butthole or any other orifice…

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