Presenting: Reasons Why You Should Let Me Touch Your Butt.


Please Allow me to explain… You’ve got a nice butt. I want to touch it.

For the record I didn’t make these. I found them on the inter webs. BUT I STILL WANT TO TOUCH YOUR BUTT!

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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22 Responses to Presenting: Reasons Why You Should Let Me Touch Your Butt.

  1. Storkhunter says:

    You make a good argument, especially the cinnamon roll cookie one. I assume your hands will be warm from the baking, because cold butt touching would be a deal breaker.

  2. jayne says:

    You may be the guy who asked me out with “Would you rather go out with me or be hit by a bus?

    • MaximumWage says:

      Nope sorry wasn’t me. I don’t drive buses or make threats.”

      • jayne says:

        No, it was about choosing him not threatening me. He was hedging his bet by making a date with him SO much better of a choice. “Would you rather go out with me or get hit by a bus?”

      • jayne says:

        No, it was about choosing him – not about him threatening me. He was hedging his bet by making a date with him SO much better of a choice. “Would you rather go out with me or get hit by a bus?”

      • MaximumWage says:

        well now that you mention it, I have been known to give random hypothetical scenarios about the obvious alternatives to dating me. So maybe it was me. Were you in Los Angeles in the last year? LOL.

  3. The kitten convinced me. It told me you’d make a gazillion cookies. (And let me eat the cookie dough while they’re baking…)

  4. This should be freshly pressed. I’m just saying.

  5. zorgor says:

    Wow, I love this. But I don’t want to like it. Ya know. But this is awesome.

  6. ysobele says:

    its technically different from an ass kisser right? lolz 😀 😀 😀
    …. but… what the heck, the kitten looks insanely excited like a wolf looking at little red.
    Maybe he’s thinking,
    “is he gonna touch butt or is he gonna kiss ass??? OMG, he is using mind tricks like a jedi through the powers of line graph…”
    or maybe the cat is thinking like a common homo sapien..
    “touch the butt, touch the butt already!!!! cmon…!!!” deep sighs… then “sheesh… sensitive women!”

  7. Josef Kul says:

    Loved the article.
    Thank you for increasing awareness of butt touching. Personally, I wouldn’t let you touch my own butt, but like everyone has been reiterating the kitten is certainly convincing. Still, the ironic truth about cats is their almost universal enjoyment by most women and the corresponding universal disgust of these same women by the ownership of said cat by any male. My wife and I now have three and it’s like the best marriage insurance you can buy.

    • MaximumWage says:

      Hahaha Cats as marriage insurance. For reals? I’ll have to think about that when I get married. Also, you should probably reconsider me touching your butt. I know you’re a dude but, rules is rules.

  8. Pingback: The Odd Ways People Find Your Blog | Maximum Wage

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