True Facts about Ficticious People.


Just Facts Ya’ll

1. James Bond has multiple STD’s.

2. The Ambiguously gay duo is really Batman and Robin.

3. Gilligan’s Island is actually based on a true story of cannibalism and only one person getting off the island.

4. Porn Stars are really just simple actors. They are actors portraying roles with great depth.

5. Chuck E. Cheese is really Mickey Mouse’s creepy pedo uncle.

6. There are some photos that have floated around the internet showing McGruff the crime dog peeing on a fire hydrant and taking a dump on someone’s lawn.

7. Yogi the Bear is really really really into Bestiality.

8. Captain Planet is blue mostly because he used to be an understudy for the “blue man group” and the makeup hasn’t worn off completely.

9. Tigger from Winnie the Pooh has Tourettes syndrome, ADHD and a large spring surgically implanted in his tail.

10. Siri from Apple’s Iphone, is really a woman named Jan who is locked in a room somewhere in California, forced repeatedly to answer all of your questions. You have time to ask her where the nearest grocery store is, but have you asked her if she wants to be free?

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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21 Responses to True Facts about Ficticious People.

  1. Siri still has a great sense of humor, eventhough she’s locked up πŸ™‚

  2. I always thought Mickey and Chuck E were related. Thanks for confirming it

  3. ‘Porn stars are actors with great depth’ BAHAHAHAHA! Oh god – dirty jokes get me every time…

  4. ridicuryder says:

    Max,

    Sean Connery has killed off all those pesky STDs with Drink………..finally!

    Unless he’s dead.

    RR

    • MaximumWage says:

      HES not dead! Sean Connery is ALIVE AND WELL! PS does drinking really kill STDs? For reals?

      • ridicuryder says:

        Max,

        In my limited experience as an RN, it’s the Flagrant Alki’s that beat most sexual inadequacies (transmitable or otherwise)……..especially when they are shitting their pants in the back of an ambulance.

        RR

  5. Loved this post. I’m sorry to say I never asked Siri about her problems, but then again…I’m too technologically inept to have “discovered” Siri yet, so that’s my cop out excuse. What’s yours?

  6. And you know what? In all honesty, if James Bond wasn’t carrying a passel load of STD’s I’d be severely dissapointed in the justice in life. Anyone that gets around that much deserves to get at least one or two.

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