The Odd Ways People Find Your Blog


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We’ve all been there fellow blog writers. Wondering how and why someone came to our little slice of heaven.  We’ll look through our stats exclaiming that “yet again I have been freshly pressed, why thank you gods of the wordpress.” It’s then that we’ll stumble over to the Google search terms and mosey through the interesting and wonderful-

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WTF? You googled sharpie kills friendship don’t drink draw? Alright… That’s… Fine… How in the holy hell can a sharpie kill a friendship? I mean you visited my blog, so congrats I guess. I wonder what blog post you visited with that search term… Hmmmm… Who else could have visited-

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That sounds rapey. Do you really need tricks? Like a magic trick, to touch a butt? Why are you googling this? I mean I know what blog post you visited but this just sounds wrong. It makes me sound worse!

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Not even English. Nice try asshole, but thanks for visiting just the same.

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Hmmm…. I too like to get a little naughty with my words with friends game. I recently played this word and have been waiting for a chance to place it in a blog.

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BAM! Problems solved, who knew that was a real word?

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God? or good? Either way if you LOSE a verbal sparring match chances are you can’t comeback. You’ve already lost. No sense in visiting my blog to find an answer.

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Nice spelling. Thanks for visiting. Nickelodeon is back the other way.

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Well looks like some dude out there is trying to be in a permanent friend zone. OR maybe this the same guy who wanted tricks to touch a butt and someone told him that’s not very nice.

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WHAT? You really want to be the NICEST GUY ON FACEBOOK? Man, how about you be a nice guy in real life? Damn, I’m starting to feel very sorry for the upcoming generation.

Lets take bigger samples, I’ve been picking and choosing different search terms. What if we take a bigger-

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I think some of you missed my blog posts on Chin curtains, Bestiality accounts and the history of women in the erotic industry. While these are all very interesting they in no way compare to what I found yesterday.

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I like it that two dudes probably in their mid teenage years searched for this. What blog post they might be seeking I’m not sure. I can’t remember any blog posts about Black honeys let alone a pecker. For some reason I imagined very redneck hill billy guys with big bellies using the word “pecker.” Just me? Ok moving on.

FYI, neraka is the Hindu version of hell in case you were wondering why I didn’t put a “wtf” on it. I seem to get a lot of hits from the google search term “hell” mostly for my blog post This is what hell is.

Thanks for reading, off to put on my chin curtain and parade down the street. Happy blogging.

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to The Odd Ways People Find Your Blog

  1. fissionerror says:

    I get “disgruntled middle-aged feminist” uncomfortably often, considering I’m only 28.

  2. denmother says:

    Ha! I hear you. I’ve blogged about searches on Brad Pitt’s penis bringing the most hits to my site. True, I do have a post with Brad Pitt’s penis in the title but why is everyone is looking for a glimpse of this guys jewels? Maybe a chin curtain is in order? Can one wear it around one’s groin? You’re obviously the expert.

    • MaximumWage says:

      I am an expert. Apparently a chin curtain is much more like an amish beard FYI. I dont think I shall be sporting one anytime soon.

      Also brad pitt’s jewels are probably awesome.

  3. List of X says:

    In case you were wondering, that foreign word is a Russian word for “Hell”. What I don’t understand, though, is why would anyone actively look for “Hell”? So that you can find it and bookmark it for a later visit?

  4. I’m always searching for history on erotic women.

    I want to know how to make my mark…

  5. I love the weird and wonderful world of search terms that found my blog, like “severed hands”, “kitten butts”, “xerxes i am kind” and “:not(:empty)” among others. And my blog isn’t terribly text heavy.
    Sometimes I plug the term back into google, just to see.

    You, however, take the cake. Congratulations.

    • MaximumWage says:

      thanks… Yeah I’ve done the same, tried putting the same texts in to google and see what happens. Kitten butts and severed hands could be a cool blog post title. You should consider it.

  6. I wrote a post like this once. The worst one was something about golden showers. Then after I wrote the post other variations of golden showers started to come up too. Weird huh?

  7. The Cutter says:

    Don’t feel too bad. The most popular search term for my blog is “hamburglar.” Go figure.

  8. rossmurray1 says:

    You can find out which post these searches lead to by searching the terms yourself. But be warned they can lead to embarrassment. And arrest.
    – Ross “hamster teen fresh meat” Murray

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