Lets Be Honest


Letsbehonestjpg

Well folks, here is a list of things I want to be honest about.

I’m not talking about this kind of honesty:tell-me-the-truth

I’m talking about this kind:

  • Lets be honest, A sore thumb doesn’t stick out, it just hurts a lot.
  • Lets be honest, if life gives you lemons you can’t afford the ingredients for lemonade because you spent it all on liquor.
  • Lets be honest, an apple a day just gives produce farmers in Washington State more money. Your body and doctors don’t give a shit.
  • Let’s be honest, exercising for a minute doesn’t mean you get to eat whatever you want. That’s like drinking diet coke and thinking you get to eat a whole cheesecake.
  • Lets be honest, “Never cry wolf” means if you say you’re going to come to my party 3 times in a row and you don’t, I’ll probably stab you in the stomach the next time I see you. Only because I will have forgotten what you look like and think you’re a stranger. Sorry, I mean I hate you.
  • Lets be honest ladies, guys only keep the toilet lid up to see if you’ll accidentally fall in during the middle of the night.
  • Lets be honest, “Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse.” Is a recipe for disaster, don’t mind me while I’m still enjoying life in moderation mode.
  • Lets be honest, “Make love not war.” PLEASE! We can do both!
  • Lets be honest, “Say No to Drugs” didn’t work, it should’ve been “Say No to Fun.”
  • Lets be honest, “Saving it for a rainy day” really only works in Seattle, not so much in Phoenix.

 

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
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15 Responses to Lets Be Honest

  1. Katie says:

    Ok, maybe this diet coke doesn’t mean I can eat a whole cheesecake, but how about just a slice? Can I have just a slice???

  2. List of X says:

    Does publishing a post count as an invitation to a blog reading party, and if it does, will you stab people who haven’t read 3 of your posts in a row?

  3. Dang the secret is out on the toilet seat.

  4. I can’t eat a whole cheesecake?! Way to ruin my day…

  5. Ingenious! I would add this one – I recently found on the net and put it on my blog with a slight alteration:
    Let’s be honest, holding in your stomach won’t help while measuring oneself on the scale.
    http://familyhurts.wordpress.com/2013/03/05/random-riddles-from-poll-mommy/

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