Not Learning To Read and other observations.


learntoread

Just some observations y’all.

– Alzheimer’s plus premature ejaculation would be confusing as hell.

– Jewish Santa Claus is really Karl Marx.

Proof:

Proof

– The way to tell if you’re very close friends with someone, is to borrow something of value from them and see how long it takes them to ask for it back. Spouses and significant others are excluded from borrowing.

– We all have a friend like this:

He’s the kind of friend who will give you the shirt off his back but he’ll also total your car and you’ll never see him again.

– A Time machine is the only way cheating on your boyfriend is perfectly alright. Just go back in time before you met him and cheat… Cheat to your hearts content.

– My favorite kind of coffee is Colombian Coffee. I don’t drink it I snort it, and its not black its white, and its probably not coffee.

– Anyone who is over 50 and is still seen as attractive by people in their 20’s, is practicing some sort of witchcraft and or using moisturizer.

– As a man the only time you should play hard to get, is in prison.

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About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in Jobs, Life and the American Way and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Not Learning To Read and other observations.

  1. BrainRants says:

    I’ve missed your wit but see you’re still at it.

  2. Luubke says:

    “- A Time machine is the only way cheating on your boyfriend is perfectly alright. Just go back in time before you met him and cheat… Cheat to your hearts content.”
    Or girlfriend for that matter!

    Anyway, great blog again (:

  3. I know this sounds hypocritical cuz I haven’t written ANYTHING in over a month, but I’d like to see you write a straight up story. I recall a month or two back when I happened to rifle through your old posts that you had some pretty good stuff out there. Not that this stuff isn’t good. It is. However, that personal touch was funny, entertaining (not always the same thing!), endearing, and yeah. Funny. Don’t do what I did and fall off the writing band wagon. Cuz that would suck. Your adoring fans would all have to cry themselves to sleep each and every night. FOREVER.

    • MaximumWage says:

      Well I must do what my adoring fans desire! I’ve been thinking about getting back to writing full stories or at least very short stories. I have a half complete one about when I was in college and discovered a secret group of women who all wanted to date me. I only hesitated because it makes me seem a little full of myself.

      I guess I should put my nose to the grindstone and get back to writing REAL blogs and not this quick nonsense… You’ve definitely encouraged me.

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