How many times have you heard someone describing another person’s outward appearance as ugly, fat, unsophisticated? WHAT IF these same people happen to have the inner beauty of two rats mating in a sewer?
Well my fellow bloggers, because of our inner beauty (because we blog about stuff) AND to those lucky assholes who have outer beauty as well, I have a list of phrases to use when you run into those outwardly gorgeous inwardly ugly people.
– You’re about as interesting as a 2 page book.
– I think its cool that you work out, its too bad you can’t work out this muscle *points to his head*
– I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
– He or she says: “Nah I don’t like reading” you say: “No actually you do, they’re called popupbooks.”
– Even if you ate a bunch of makeup, it wouldn’t make you beautiful on the inside.
– Look man, I wouldn’t go around telling people that you’re stupid. If it were me, I’d tell them that your mom dropped you on your head a lot as a kid. You’ll get more sympathy that way.
– You’ve never tried boxing before? Oh thats weird. What about skateboarding without a helmet?
– Its okay, everybody makes mistakes like the one you just made. Even though most of those people have to wear helmets wherever they go.
– Do you know what the Darwin awards are? Well you should probably look into that.
– I bet you’re the type of person who’ll call a person studying Physics a Physician.
– Many people in the world who are much smarter than you have already thought this issue out. And guess what? You’re still wrong.
– I can hear your brain thinking from over here, and I’m getting a headache just listening to it.
– My only hope for you is that real intelligence decided to skip your generation.