How many of you have a friend that likes to involve themselves in your business? Or my favorite, a friend who mistakenly believes they’re right about everything. We all have friends and hopefully acquaintances that have the following quirky personality traits. Please enjoy.
1. “You don’t get my respect unless you earn it.” or “Respect is earned not granted.”
First of all who the f*** are you? Why do people have to earn your respect? Last I checked you weren’t a King or Queen, or some super hero who had saved the world. You know what? Cure cancer, invent a robot that makes bacon and maybe you can believe that. Most people who believe this are really saying, “I act like an asshole to people, until they prove to me they’re a good person.” In all honesty I think an individual who honestly believes this is confusing “trust” with “respect.” Trust is earned, respect isn’t.
2. “I can love enough for the both of us.”
How many of you have friends in a relationship with a controlling mean asshole? You’ll see them together and say to yourself, “Why the hell is my friend with that jerk?” Whelp, this is why. I know love conquers all, but generally that works when BOTH parties are in love with each other. If you know anyone like this tell them its time to get out of the relationship fast. This kind of thinking turns into Stockholm syndrome.
3. “I could never do [fill in the blank activity] thats too hard.”
Defeatists usually find that perfect (in their mind) excuse. I’ve come up with my own theory that one of the hardest things to do in life is self-discipline. Whether its losing weight, quiting that habit or just generally trying to be a better person. “Oh how did you lose the weight?! Working out, eating less and self discipline? NO THANKS.” Anyone who has made something of themselves has turned off that “defeatist” part of their brain.
4. The “Advice” people
I split these people up into two groups and yes this more of an action, and less of a belief. I do belive its important to include these two groups.
- The friend who asks for your advice, and when you give it, they go on to completely ignore your advice and do the opposite.
Anytime I give advice now I’ll always preface it by saying, “do you really want my advice, or are you looking for someone to confirm the belief/decision you already have?” Any hesitation on their part and its pretty clear I’ve just saved myself at least a half hour or more.
- The friend who is very quick to give advice but seems to be missing how every piece of advice she/he has ever given, should really be applied to their own lives.
This person might have gotten lucky years ago giving advice to one of their friends. They currently believe themselves to be a walking talking free lance psychiatrist. Unfortunately any attempt to deviate from this belief is met with anger, defensiveness and outright denial. I’d also say about this person that they tend to involve themselves in other people’s business, especially when that involvement is not needed.
Do any of you have any friends or behavioral mannerisms you’d like to share? I’m all ears.