Going On a Blind Date, as Told Through Gifs.


Recently I went on a blind date, this is how it went down.

When a friend of mine said, “there is a woman I’m going to set you up with” This is how I reacted:


I mean I can find my own ladies thank you very much. This friend, who is a womanΒ  said, “Are you sure? She’s kind of funny too, like you.”


She knows my Achilles heel! Compliment how funny I am and you can pretty much ask me to do anything. (SHIT WHY DID I WRITE THIS ON MY BLOG)

So I went on the date.

I arrived at the restaurant a little early. I like punctuality and I like it when people have this quality as well. She showed up early. Bonus points for her.

When I first saw my date I was pretty shocked, She was pretty cute. I mean for someone who was supposed to be “funny” I thought I was dealing with a “she has a good personality” type of good looks. I’m not picky but the heart wants, or rather the penis wants what it wants you know?


I will refer to her from now on as Lisa.

We did our awkward hellos and sat down and commenced the small talk.

Lisa mentioned she works as a nanny for a super rich couple. Shes tells a story about one of the kids she watches (A 5 year old) who calls spiders “Speedews.” She laughed and laughed telling this story.

My reaction:


It wasn’t THAT funny, but whatever.

I dropped that I write a comedy blog. As quick as a jack rabbit Lisa drops, “OH! I’ve been meaning to do that too!”


Sorry Lisa, I really don’t believe you.

We talked for a bit about our mutual friend and how we both know her.

At this point I started to notice the male waiter was really attentive to Lisa, almost to the point where it was obvious he liked Lisa. I had to tell him a COUPLE times, “We’re good thanks.”

What I really wanted to say to him:


At this point we’re eating dinner and enjoying each others company. Lisa starts talking about her recent EX.


WHAT?! That’s like rule number one on a date. DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX!


I tried everyone. I really tried to give her a chance. When you’re recently out of a relationship and you’ve had your heart broken I can imagine it would be difficult going out and talking to people who-


For about the next 40 minutes or so every time she dropped the name of her ex my mind did this:


(It happened twice)

So the “Funny” part of her personality decided to show up with about 20 minutes left in our date.

She straight up asks me, “so how many women have you been with?”



Maybe she felt comfortable around me? Maybe her brash demeanor could come off as humor if I was drunk and in intolerable pain. I don’t know why Lisa asked this question, maybe she felt bad for talking about her ex and wanted me to talk about a previous ex I had. Either way I didn’t take the bait. I gave a vague answer and changed the subject as quick as I possibly could.

The date ended. Finally.


Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on worse dates with people I did know. She’s very attractive and will be just fine. I hear our waiter is available.

About 40 minutes later in the comfort of my own home I get a text from Lisa inviting me out for another date. When I declined I pictured her doing this at home:


So if you’re wondering Internet Ladies….

I’m still single.



About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in GIF Story and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Going On a Blind Date, as Told Through Gifs.

  1. D. says:

    Wow, the guy from whatsapp conversation seems ok. I can go on a blind date with him πŸ™‚

  2. The Cutter says:

    I think I’mma have to start doing coordinated dances through the aisles of my local convenience store. Looks like fun.

  3. Hey handsome…….has anyone told you you’re really funny πŸ˜‰ lol

  4. rossmurray1 says:

    Gifs are the bacon of the Internet.

  5. SaFire says:

    you are unbelievably funny. πŸ™‚

  6. HA! Dude.

    That’s really all I got ^.^

    • MaximumWage says:

      Good enough for me… Speaking of you, whens your next post? What do I gotta do to keep you coming back to post more stuff??? HMMM??? Ps I know you’re super busy.

      • I haven’t posted for four months – I feel terrible! And then when I feel like i need to post, I sleep… ha >.< I seriously need to update though – every time something ridiculous happens at the bar (aka, everday…) I'm like, "OMG – NEED TO BLOG THAT!"

      • MaximumWage says:

        You seriously need to. Just do what I’ve done in the past. At the end of the day you write down as much stuff on your smart phone as you can remember for future blog posts. Seems to work for me. That way you’ll have a ton of blog posts written and all you need do is transcribe from the smartphone to the PC.

        I bet you have a ton of awesome BAR stories.

  7. aw man. I’m not gonna join in ur wanna be cohort weirdI Internet lovers or whatevs, but seriously….Sounds like you had a shitty date. Back in those misty halcon years in the US when I usedta date like normal person, I got set up w someone who was about 2-3 months out of an 8 y relationship……..holy mother of God, it sucked! Plus extra stress with having to a double date (seriously the worst fucking sitch I could ever think, omg), and yeah, they were watching & analyzing our every move like only a smug secure couple can……. Good Llord,. What a fuck up that was……so the point of my msg was that, in case you ever need to escape, I strongly recommend going abroad for a while. Cuz. Srysly. Nothing to kill a date than the first impressionn.

  8. I just re-read my post. Shit! I’m drunk and clearly unable to type like a normal person.So just ingore what I said, except the shitty date part. Cuz honestly, It sounded like one of those lameoos that we all have to go through at our age. Sucks, doesn’t it?

  9. In other news, I’m drunk again right now. Titillating isn’t it? Just kidding. It would be if I shared my weekend in Manila with anyone, but that shit is not safe for the Internet.

  10. Pingback: 13 Signs Your Nick Name Has Overpowered Your Real Name

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s