Oh my gosh you guys!
LETS TALK ABOUT FORTS!
First we have your standard “Wild West” Anti- Indian repelling fort.
Lets look at this constructively.
- It has a water tower to hold out against a siege. (people need water to drink, I mean you’re going to sweat fightin Injuns and all.)
- It has a cannon. That’s some good firepower to cover the front door.
- It has a building that says, “FORT” on it. That’s good right?
- Unfortunately most Native Americans aren’t really going to leave their casinos to attack an old western Fort. Obsolete? I say yes.
I rate the Indian fort 4 out of 10
- Nice look out tower
- Nice battlement, you can rain death from above.
- Actual enclosed area to plan strategies eat smores and tell girls to go away.
- NON RETRACTABLE LADDER! WTF?! What if Zombies attack? Or bad guys?
I give this Tree Fort a C-
- Wtf is this shit?
- Is this amateur hour? Are we building raised platforms 4 ft off the ground?
- No ROOF, No enclosure of any kind, Shitty ladder entry and this tree looks like a spider built it.
I give this tree fort (if it can be called that) 1 star out of 5.
- Hotel room, not bad.
- Just blankets with white pillows for added anchoring
- Smiling white dude.
I like this impromptu blanket fort but its still lacking a lot of defensive upgrades. I give it a 5.9 on the IMDB scale.
- Non matching pillows = shitty job
- Let me take a nap on the hardwood floors! NOPE! Who am I Robinson Crusoe?
I give this blanket fort a 1200 on the SAT scale.
- First of all good job on the moat. You can put crocodiles, dragons or spikes at the bottom.
- Bridges for easy defense I like it.
- Plenty of area to repel an attack without return fire.
- Trees for wood, open area to grow crops. Looks like I know where I’m going if the zombie apocalypse happens.
I give this fort a 14 inch dick on the porn star scale. And yes I just came.
Yes I will be doing a follow up post to this one next week.
Yes there are many different kinds of forts
You’re welcome world.