I Have an Amazing Butt

I don’t mean to brag.

Butt I do.

1. I’ve caught a total of three women checking out my butt.

2. Its a nice large size but not too big.

3. It holds my pants up.


If my butt were a country it would be the President of The United Butts of America.

If my butt were a product it would be the ibutt.

A girl once touched my butt and orgasmed instantly.


I once cured butt cancer with my butt.

I once used my butt as a weapon. I killed a terrorist and preserved freedom.

Have you ever been to a full 60,000 seat auditorium for a concert? That’s what happens when I use the elliptical at my gym.


I once caused a 5 hour traffic jam when I bent over to pick up a quarter off the ground.

My butt is a pied piper.

My butt.



About MaximumWage

I don't wear shoes. And I habitually reinvent myself, like the wheel.
This entry was posted in All about me and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to I Have an Amazing Butt

  1. Nadine says:

    I totally feel you on this….my butt is my best asset. 🙂

  2. rokkn93 says:

    Reblogged this on The Food Product and commented:
    This has given me meaning

  3. rokkn93 says:

    This has given me meaning

  4. Butt seriously …. no photos?

  5. The most moving thing I’ve ever read. Seriously – brought tears to the eyes. Just. Just… Bea-utt-iful?? (Eh, eh, did it work? Or too much… ^.^)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s